My Back Goes Out More Than I Do!

Yesterday I blogged about feeling kind of down. I said I'd blog about it more today. So that's what I'm doing now. Blogging about feeling down.

Why am I down, you ask? (Even if you didn't ask, I'm gonna tell you anyway, so you might as well listen...I mean, keep readin'!)

Well, it's my back. Or rather, my lack of control over the situation regarding my back.

I've dealt with chronic back pain for several years. Finally, a little over two years ago, I was conned suckered convinced to have lower back surgery.

And it worked.

Until now.

Now I'm in pain again, and I've been told 1) I have degenerative disc disease; 2) rheumatoid arthritis; 3) I need to lose some weight (Well, DUH!); 4) I may need surgery again.

But I don't want surgery. I just want to be well. And there's the dilemma. What to do, what to do...

Last Monday, I had another MRI done on my back, and it brought back all of the memories of the last experience I had regarding my back pain, in full and living technicolor. The horror, the trauma, the looooonnnnngggg recovery...all of it.

I was NOT a happy camper on Monday! And since then, I've been having panic attacks, losing sleep, and been in chronic lower back pain more than before.

I haven't contacted my dr. yet to find out the results. I figure, he wants to cut me open, he's going to look for ME:-) But I don't know what I'm going to decide to do.

Decisions, decisions.....

If I have the surgery again, it will accelerate the deterioration in the other parts of my back that show damage. There is a strong possibility I would be permanently unable to work. Of course, that would mean I could blog full time, so there is an upside, right??



So, pray for me, please. Pray for relief, for my decision, for my healing, and for my doctor...or doctors, I should say.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled activity. This has been a public service announcement on the Deena network...All Deena, All the Time...we thank you for your time:-)

Be blessed, and be a blessing!

Deena