Transitions.....

Our family is going through another series of transitions, and we would appreciate your prayers as we move from one to the next. I don't know if I'll be blogging (believe me, I'm going to try...this is cheap therapy), so please check back.

We all would appreciate your prayers over the next few days. While every event is a blessing, each comes with its own struggle and adjustment.

Thank you for your readership, and your friendship!

Deena

A Work In Progress...

This is from our study book on page 40, and it brought me great hope and relief:

"Though I'm not yet what I ought to be, thank God, I'm not what I was. And neither are you. For 'He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus,' Philippians 1:6 assures us. Though we may not see the finished product until heaven, you can be sure that what God has started, He will finish. And as long as we daily relinquish control of our lives to Jesus Christ, our transformation will continue."

Isn't that great news!! We're not finished products yet!

Which means that all of the warts and bumps and rough edges and flaws are ok...just as long as there aren't as many today as there were yesterday.

Of course, that also means that there's still transformation yet to be done. And I don't know about you, but sometimes that process HURTS! Sometimes I get comfy-cozy as I am, and don't want to be unraveled and reformed. Sometimes I take the lyrics to the old hymn Just As I Am a little bit too literally...and add a few of my own:

"Just as I am, without one plea, But that Thy blood was shed for me....
O Lamb of God, I come...and I'm done."

Truth is, none of us are complete. None of us are perfect, and none of us are what we should be.

For those who believe they have arrived....I'm sorry, but you done fell out of the boat a ways back!!

When we realize that we are all in the process of sanctification (a big word that means being changed God's way), we can overlook some of the things we do to each other. We can pray for each other.

"Lord, I'm tired of Susie talking to me that way. Could You hurry up and either soften her tongue or toughen my skin?"

We can encourage one another in the changes we see happening in each other's lives. "Janet, I just love the way you pray. It's like you know just what the Father wants you to say."

We can share our burdens, and the areas in which we are desperate for change to come. "You all can pray for me to have more faith and trust in my God...sometimes, it's strong as thick rope...other times, it's as thin as wet spaghetti."

We can be encouraged...because we are in process.

Of course, that means we must walk in the Spirit in order to realize it and live like it. Utmost patience is required for anything occuring in process (i.e., layaway, pregnancy, weight loss, and sanctification). We must bear one another's burdens, we must pray until it hurts (right, Pastor Dave?), and we must never lose heart.

I've heard from many women over the last few weeks about children who are wandering in the desert of the world. It is so hard to wait for a loved one to be made into what God wants...it's even harder to wait for them to get back on the sculpting table.

Keep praying. Surround yourself with warriors of prayer. And keep in mind, He's not done yet. Praise God, He's Not Done!!!!!!!!!

So, be encouraged, dear friends. We're all works in progress....and what beauties we'll be when the Father says, "Done."

Deena

Receiving Answered Prayer

Ok, I'll admit it. Sometimes I pray and then I'm surprised when God answers.

There! Ya happy now??

We've been praying for two years that our oldest daughter would come back to Christ, and as a result, would come back to us.

A miracle is happening, and our prayers are being answered.

And what do we do?

"Are You SURE, God? I mean, we thought this once before, and we got fooled. Are You SURE this is it?"

And then we lurked in the shadows, looking for the hidden things we've missed and watching for the "trap" being laid for us to stumble into.

Shame on me!

Last time, I didn't wait for Him before I plowed ahead.

Last time, I didn't pay attention to the check in my spirit over the whole matter.

Last time, I stopped praying when I thought I had received my answer.

Last time, I took control and tried to force a stubborn, round peg into a rigid, square hole.

But this time I totally surrendered, and felt peace for the first time in 2 years. I felt calmness that transcended what I was dealing with. And I rallied the troops to pray with a force to rattle the heavens.

So, why am I so shocked? Why am I so suspicious? Why am I so uncertain?

Like Rhoda in Acts 12:14, my spirit cries out, "The miracle has happened! The prisoner has been released!"
And my fearful flesh says, "Oh, you're out of your mind!"

How long will my daughter have to stand at the door and knock before I trust God and let her in....

Excuse me, I have to get the door...

Be blessed, keep praying, and believe!!

Deena

Dark Shadows....

This is our last week before we meet for our monthly study, so I'm busy pulling tidbits from chapter three of "Having A Mary Spirit" to share. This was a powerful chapter, and there is so much to discuss!

Such as this statement from page 33: "Because, although we've given Christ complete dominion over our spirits, He must also be welcomed into the other areas of our lives. The dark corners of our hearts still need to be evangelized. Kingdoms in our souls have yet to hear the good news. And that multilevel transformation doesn't happen all at once."

For me, the dark areas deal primarily with hurts that I carry around with me, and ways I've found to cope with the hurt. Being made fun of so much as a child, I tend to shy away from deep committed relationships. Instead, I read a lot. Books are safe, reliable, and don't tell you how (stupid, fat, ugly, unreliable, emotional, etc.) you are.

I was also very spoiled as a child. I was a late in life baby, and basically raised by myself--my brother and two sisters were already out on their own or on their way out. And by the time I came along, Mom and Dad were doing well, so they wanted to "share the wealth" with me...which meant I got anything I wanted and then some.

That doesn't go very well into marriage, let me tell you. And it has taken me years to learn to put my kids first in many areas...which is a WHOLE 'nuther topic to discuss!!!!

What about you? What are some dark areas of your life where the light of God's redeeming love needs to shine?

Food for thought, isn't it??

Praise God He loves us as we are, but too much to leave us the same!!

Be blessed, and then throw open the curtains and let Jesus shine in!

Deena

Question Four, February 25, 2007

"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in tht it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending His own Son," Romans 8:1-3.

What does it mean to you that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ?

This was a very difficult concept for me to wrap my brain around. I kept reading "condemnation" as "guilt" or "consequences", and getting tangle theology that choked the life out of me spiritually.

What Paul is saying is that we are no longer condemned. There is no longer a death sentence hanging over our heads. We are free for the first time in our lives.

What we do after that is up to us.

The best way I can think to explain what I mean is through an illustration. For the first 21 years of my life I was a Ward. I thought like one, lived like one, identified myself as one, and all of life was wrapped up in being a Ward.

But then, I met my husband. I fell in love. And soon, I went through a ceremony that made me a Peterson. From that point on, my past as a Ward struggled with my present as a Peterson. The old ways of doing things and making decisions clashed with the new ways of functioning as a Peterson.

Since I loved being a Peterson, eventually I grew more like a Peterson and less like a Ward. I will always have some Ward-like tendencies, but I'm more Peterson today than ever before. Not because of my name change, but because of my willingness to become more like a Peterson.

We pass from condemnation, from death, into life instantly at the point of salvation. But do we continue to walk the path of life, or do we go back to our old ways of thinking, doing, and living?

Those ways bring with them the feelings of condemnation, EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NO LONGER UNDER IT. We have to not only believe we are free, but live like it as well.

It does a prisoner no good to know he is free, his death sentence has been overturned, if he continues to sit in his unlocked cell, going through his unnecessary prison routine, and wearing the same prison garments.

No, he must throw off his old identity, taking on his new one and walking, talking and living as a free man, no longer under penalty for his crime.

I had to stop living like I was a Ward and change my ways to being a Peterson for my marriage to work. And it took time. It was a process...it was a forward process. I became a Peterson when I said "I do." We become set free when we say "I believe."

So living under guilt, circumstances of past decisions, and old ways of doing things is to deny the power of being set free. And that is what our flesh person wants us to do. It is a struggle...a day to day mindset we must put on.

The good news is that one day, after constant practice...one day, it will feel as natural as breathing.

So, what does it mean to YOU to be under condemnation no longer?

Be blessed, and be yourself in Christ...set free to serve and to bless others!

Deena

But I Don't Wanna!!

Ever get in the "don't wanna's"? You know, God says, "I want you to do this for Me," and you whine, "But I don't wanna!"

Or God says, "I want you to reach out to this person in My name," and you scuff your foot and duck your head and mutter, "But I don't wanna, God."

That's the frame of mind I'm in. God is tugging on my sleeve in some areas, and I'm hanging back, crying out, "God, I said I don't wanna!"

Some are personal areas...areas I need to grow and change in.

Some are ministry areas, where He wants me to shift gears...areas where I need to stretch and be challenged.

Some are sin areas, where I need to surrender to His cleansing...areas where I've battled habits and patterns that are self-destructive to my spiritual well-being.

The problem is...each of these takes work...yes, the dreaded "W" word...and I'm tired.

I'm tired of trying to figure out decisions that make or break relationships.

I'm tired of trying to be the kind of Christian I'm supposed to be.

I'm tired of trying to have spiritual "buns of steel" with Scripture, prayer and devotion...and ending up with "rolls of fleshy pride" that weigh me down.

I'm tired of trying to help people I love be all they can be for Jesus.

I'm tired of.....of.......

Oh, my.....I'm tired of being god.

Yes, you heard me. Trying to change people, to change myself, to choose which path based on what I see and feel....trying to be god...

And I'm really, REALLY bad at it.

Good thing I'm not god, huh?

So, I guess I have knee time ahead of me. Pray for me. This is hard. I have the best of intentions...but that and a dollar and fifty cents gets you a plain cup of coffee at Starbucks...and that's about all.

Off to seek Godly wisdom...from the One and Only God...**climbing down off the throne...

Be blessed, and say a prayer for me tonight...or whenever you read this blog...I'm sure I'll be needing it...

Deena

Review of Chonda's book...

is blogged on my bookblog

http://deenasbooks.blogspot.com

If you or someone you know is battling depression, please check out this review.

Be blessed,

Deena

R.E.S.T.

I'm tired.

There. I've said it. The world didn't come crashing down, God is still on His throne, and life is still moving on.

I've been tired since my mom's funeral. Seven months ago.

Life feels like a bad carnival ride. And sometimes I feel like I ate too much cotton candy and too many hotdogs...and then got on the ride.

We go and we go and we go. We do and we do and we do.

You know the song, "Life Is A Highway"? I keep watching for the rest stop sign. And I know I'm not alone...I see you there, peering at this blog through weary eyes...

Jesus said to His disciples, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest," (Mark 6:31).

Jesus is saying to me (and to you), "Come with me, Deena. Come alone, just you and Me...I'll take you someplace where you can rejuvenate yourself in Me."

It only makes sense that we need R.E.S.T.; we must have R.E.S.T.

Soldiers in battle get times of R & R (rest and relaxation) so they don't go crazy in the fighting.

Nascar drivers who don't make pit stops in their races tend to crash and burn more than most.

Doctors on rotation must get rested, or the lives they care for may be harmed more that helped.

So, why don't we take time to R.E.S.T.?

As women, we do for everyone but ourselves. And that is sin. Plain and simple. And I'm right in there with you. I haven't had a vacation since Mom died, nor been left home alone since her funeral. That's seven months of doing, giving, and sharing...and I've done give out and have nothing left...I'm running on fumes.

How about you?

Mothers of small children, women in ministry, and performers are the most prone to burnout, because we're always busy giving, serving, performing.

Where do you fall?

Jesus Himself is crying out for us to find our R.E.S.T. The Sabbath was created for a reason...and I'm not talking theology or a specific day of the week...I'm talking principle here.

I'm reading a book by Chonda Pierce called "Laughing In the Dark" that chronicles her battle with clinical depression (my review will be posted sometime later today). She was advised to take three hours a day and do nothing...absolutely nothing.

I'm not advising that. But I am telling you that if you don't allow for some down time in your life, you are never going to be fully effective for the Kingdom, for your family, and for those around you.

Many, many books are being published dealing with this very topic. A few good ones are "The Rest of God" by Mark Buchanon, "Living Simply" by Joanne Heim, and anything written by Keri Wyatt Kent.

We must take time out for us. Not to sin, not to be selfish...but to R.E.S.T. We need Relief, Energizing, Simplicity and Trust. Did you catch that? That is what rest is. Relief from our daily burdens, a chance to energize our spirits and our bodies, getting back to the simple things of life, and trusting God that, if we take some time off, He won't be disappointed in us and all will be well with our souls.

So, plan a mini-vacation. And then take it. No more excuses. Get some R.E.S.T. Remember, Jesus calls you...He calls me...to come away with Him and Him alone...

Be blessed, and get some R.E.S.T.....then be a blessing to someone else...

Deena

P.S. Go and read the 23rd Psalm...it says "He makes me to lie down in green pastures..." So, force is required to get us to rest. Is He going to have to make you, too?

A Letter To My Daughter...

My Dearest child,

How I miss you! It seems you've been gone for so long. I miss our long talks, how you would share everything in your life with me. But you grew so secretive, and even though I knew what was happening, I chose to let you go your own way for a time.

But how my heart yearns to connect with yours again! How I miss spending time with you, and hearing all about your needs, your wants, your plans...how I miss sharing your life with you.

My arms long to hold you close to me. I want so much just to take care of you, to watch out for you, to guide you and to continue to teach you all that I know.

I know this world has been cruel to you. I remember what it was like for me. I know that life can be unfair, and sometimes it seems as if people won't stop until they have destroyed you. It may seem at times as if the world has won and you are done, but you're not. Not as long as you have me.

And you will always have me. I will always be there for you. My love for you will never change; it doesn't get stronger based on what you do, and it doesn't weaken based on what you don't do. My love for you hasn't changed since the day I gave you life, and it never will.

I would give my life for you.

In fact, I did.

Won't you give yours to me?

Come home, my daughter. My arms are open wide.

Love,

God

Transformers...

One of the biggest struggles I see in the lives of the people I love who believe in Jesus is this...allowing Him to transform them. This is covered again and again in our book, "Having A Mary Spirit."

We are flesh, and we are spirit, and the two war against one another. In order to walk according to the spirit, we have to feed that part of us. Through preaching, teaching, study of God's Word, and prayer, our spirit becomes stronger and able to crucify the flesh when it rises up.

We call this "transformation".

But transformation takes time, takes work, takes effort...most of all, it takes surrender to His divine Will and purpose for us. We won't always have the answers we want or think we need...we won't always know how it's going to go or when it's going to be over...we won't always know the outcome or end result...except that we'll look more like Him and less like us.

Sometimes I think we are willing to let Jesus be Savior, but not Lord. "You can keep me out of hell, Jesus, and forgive me when I sin...but do NOT tell me what to do!"

He cannot be our Savior if He is not our Lord...He doesn't just want to forgive us, He wants to transform us...He has to be able to tell us what to do, because we don't know what to do on our own.

It doesn't matter if we're 10, 20, 30, or 70...we will always need Jesus to guide us, instruct us, correct us....to transform us.

Remember that old commercial for the Transformer toys..."Transformers--more than meets the eye..." That should be us. There should be more to us than just what is seen on the outside...we have the Spirit of God dwelling inside us. Let Jesus transform you today into more than meets the eye...

You won't regret it. But you will have to let Him tell you what to do.

Be blessed, and then let Him use you to bless someone else.

Deena

P.S. Still battling the headache, and have a major life decision to make with my family...please continue to keep us in prayer. Thank you!!

Prayer Request...

Hi...I don't know if I'll be blogging today...

I'm battling a headache that borders on migraine...have had it for two days...

It hurts just to think, which means I'm miserable, 'cause I'm ALWAYS thinking about something...

If you would, please pray for me...

Deena

Minds Gone Wild!!

Today I watched "Wednesdays With Beth" on Life Today (James & Betty Robison). She's teaching a series on trusting God, and it is MARVELOUS...I would love to be able to teach and inspire like Beth Moore...and yes, I remember my post on wishing I was someone else vs. liking who I am......this is a godly envy:-)

She spoke today about how we tend to trust God in all areas of our lives...but not in that one thing. The one thing we tell God and anyone who will listen "If that ever happens, I won't be able to survive...I just won't make it."

She spoke of something I've heard of before, but never really thought much about until today. Maybe you've heard of it as well. It comes from Romans 1:21: "Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened."

Now, what I understand this to mean is simply a mind gone wild. You know, borrowing trouble, imagining the worst case scenario, worrying yourself sick over something...

Did I nail anybody with that besides me??? I'm famous for borrowing trouble...and I always pay it back...

But Jesus (and Jack Bauer) said, "Don't worry about tomorrow, today has enough trouble for it's own."

We do well just to get through one 24 hour period before we tackle another one. Which is not to say we shouldn't plan for the future...but that is nothing like what we are discussing here.

I tend to worry, "What if our daughter never comes back to Jesus?" and then project into the future the possible scenarios...telling God I trust Him in every area but this one.

I used to worry about what I would do when Dad/Mom/someone I loved died...and would stress and fret and think I would just melt in despair. And yet, here I am, with both Mom and Dad in heaven with Jesus...I'm not happy about them being gone, but my life is moving forward and I survived.

How much time did I waste worrying about them when I could have been spending time with them? How much time do I spend preaching at my daughter when I should simply be loving her?

Which I would have done, would do, if I trusted God in those areas of my life.

We love and trust Him in so many ways, but there is that one thing...we hold onto it for dear life, protecting it and shielding it...and telling God how we want Him to take care of it.

And when He doesn't do as we want Him to, we say, "See, I knew I couldn't trust You with it..." and justify our sin...totally missing the point.

So, I'm vowing to stop my vain imaginations...my wild imagination...my mind gone wild...and to trust Him. When I feel myself going into that state of panic, my stomach in knots and my head in turmoil...I will stand against the enemy and say, "No, devil. No more. I'm done with this..." and hand it over to my Father.

Lord willing and I draw strength from Him...this is what I vow to do. Please pray for me that I will be able to do this, and I will pray for you as well.

Please let me know what you think...

Be blessed, and reign in that mind..."We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ," II Corinthians 10:5

Deena

Owner, or Ownership?

I've been pondering this for a few days now, and since I think better out loud than inside my head, you get to ponder it along with me.

My husband introduced me to a dynamic pastor by the name of Mark Driscoll. He's not every one's cup of tea, but he is definitely mine, and I've been listening to his sermon series "Christians Gone Wild" on my iPod...lovin' the iPod!!

He has this wacky and wild idea that the church belongs to Jesus...that Jesus owns the church. He is merely a servant of Christ, pastoring Christ's church, and that he answers to Him. That everything about the local church should and must center around Jesus and Him alone.

So, then I began thinking...we don't own the church...that's a given. But we must assume ownership of it, or we won't care enough to participate in what happens to her.

Maybe this will help...maybe I'm a nut...I don't know...You decide.

My husband and I bought a brand new car, for the first time, last June. We don't own it...the credit company does. But we do maintain ownership of it. We are responsible for the upkeep, maintenance, payments, and general care of the car. Even though the bank owns it.

So, even when we say "The church belongs to Jesus," we still maintain ownership...we're the caretakers, if you will. We are responsible for the care and maintenance of her. So if we don't tithe, we are neglecting her. If we don't serve, we aren't caring for her. And if we aren't in some way invested in our local church body, then we won't feel we have a stake in how well she does.

Too many believers come and sit and soak and then go home. That's not what we're meant to do. We have work to do, work we are each called to do.

But, on the other hand, too many believers claim they own the church by their behavior...things must go their way, or they are done and gone...they take the ownership too far and become the rightful owner.

Jesus owns the church. She is bought and paid for with His own blood. But we are to care for her, invest in her, and serve her. As long as we keep it in perspective, we'll all do just fine. Oh, there might be some bumps and bruises along the way...but overall, the work will get done and the Lord will be served...and one day, one glorious day, He'll come and take His church home.

Til then, we've got work to do...for the Master.

Be blessed, and ask God today how you can serve Him through His church...make an investment that will last an eternity.

Deena

Counting my Blessings or my Burdens?

You ever get into a funk? You know, one of those indescribable moods, where you just have this blech feeling, but can't put your finger on why?

We get those a lot in our house. I suspect it's because my husband is in ministry, and they are just general attacks from the enemy...we've been in ministry so long that he's better off sneaking up on us through the blahs than through a full on attack.

Anyhoo, I'm feeling a funk coming on...so I thought I'd blog:-) Nothing like sharing my feelings on the world wide web to snap a girl out of a funk, eh??

I've been thinking a lot lately (nothing new there!!)...why do I tend to count my burdens instead of my blessings? I have a wonderful life...true, it's filled with trials and struggles...but who's isn't?

The cool thing about God is He doesn't candy coat the Christian life..read James, I Peter, the Gospel accounts...it isn't "IF" troubles and trials come our way, but "WHEN"...

So, why can't I be like Paul advises me to be...thinking on the positive side of life? I'm not talking about painting everything with the rose-colored brush...life hurts and it makes us bleed, and there's no good reason to hide it from anyone.

I'm talking about focusing on the blessings instead of the burdens...for instance:

1) My oldest is away from God right now...but she's healthy (for the most part), and she is still in contact with me, which allows me to talk about God with her when maybe no one else will.

2) We homeschool, which adds to my stress level, but it is so wonderful to have my child get an "A" on an essay, and know I had a hand in helping her get the grade, and that the content in the essay is based on what she's experienced through her family.

3) My husband is a pastor who works fulltime (no such thing as a parttime pastor!), which limits his time and sometimes brings great stress into our lives. But he is an amazing man who continually blows me away with his insight into Scripture and finds gems like Mark Driscoll to share with me, which rejuvenates us both for the work God has called us to do.

4) My mom passed away in August, and she was my best friend in the entire world...but my sister and I are closer now than ever...in fact, she plans to attend our Wholly Devoted women's fellowship with me in March...if she doesn't chicken out on meeting new people...!

And the list is endless...

My life isn't easy. Compared to some, it looks like a cakewalk...compared to others, it's the crummy part of the cakewalk...but it's life.

I read this on someone else's blog, so it's not an original thought, but I did tweak it a bit...

Life is not to make me happy...it's to make me holy...so even though life gets hard, if it draws me into the arms of my Father, so be it. If it teaches me to depend on the One who is most dependable, so be it. If it prepares my heart for heaven, so be it...I know it makes me long for heaven all the more...

So, my dear friend, not to make light of your troubles and trials, but please, consider counting your blessings instead of your burdens. From someone who's been there and done that, it will lighten your load and encourage your heart...and honor and glorify your Father, who desperately loves you.

Deena

My Heart Is Hurting....

but I'm fine. My prayer to get out the pit of despair has been answered, but honestly, it's a struggle to not slide back into it...the sides are slick and I'm constantly tempted to dance on the edge...Lord, hold me back and fence me in, Please!

Pray for my daughter. She is in danger of losing her job, and this is one I truly want her to keep. The environment is healthy, the people are encouraging and uplifting, and she will learn what it means to serve others.

Not only that, but it will allow her to remain independent, at least, as independent as a squirrelly 20 year old can be.

Your prayers are being heard...so many of my requests to you God is answering...He is moving in this situation...and while my heart hurts, I'm no longer discouraged nor despairing.

Which brings me to this...why do we struggle so to have faith in our God? In our Heavenly Father, who is all powerful and all knowing and all loving...the One who knows what is best for us in each and every situation??

What is so broken in His creation that we will cry out to anything BUT Him? Now, THAT breaks my heart...

I long to give good things to my daughter...I long to bring her home until my arms ache to hold and comfort her...I long to take care of her...

How much more does our Father long to bless us, to give good things to us, to hold and comfort us, to care for us...and we turn and say, "No. I can do it myself. Thank you, though."

How sad...how incredibly, tragically sad.

As a mother of a wayward, struggling child...hear my heart today...let God love on you. Let Him bless you. Let Him take care of you.

In order to do that, you must be obedient. You must read and take in His words. You must follow His leading. You must love and acknowledge Him in your life. You must. It's that simple.

And it's that critical. The Father's heart bleeds for His children...He loves us...He adores us...He died for us...

The least we can do is obey and follow.

Your turn...

Be blessed, and all praise to Our Father in Heaven who loves and lavishes His best on His children!!

Deena

Question of the Week, February 18, 2007

What does Romans 13:14 say about handling our lower nature...

"Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature."

Wow. I had to pick this one, didn't I?

Well, first of all, if I'm clothed in Him, I won't feel the need to cover myself with my own works and good stuff that I do. I suppose this is what Scripture means when it talks about being clothed in His righteousness.

The second part of the verse....well, that just nails my hide to the wall. I'm always plotting and planning on how to accomplish this or how to obtain that thing, that book, that dinner out with my husband.

I exhaust myself conniving and creating scenarios and arguments and debates inside my head, always, always, always for my own satisfaction and purposes.

My favorite is when someone upsets me or makes me mad, and I spend DAYS getting my pound of flesh, thinking of clever comebacks and snide remarks and dazzling debates to get my point across and feel satisfied with the outcome.

That makes me so incredibly tired...and what does it profit me?

A big, fat NOTHING.

If only I thought as much about furthering the kingdom, encouraging a brother or sister in Christ, serving my church family, and doing my best to out give a more than generous Heavenly Father.

Time to go change clothes...my filthy rags for His robe of righteousness...

Your turn!

Be blessed my dear family!!

Deena

A Rallying Cry...

For those who read my blogs, please hear my heart.

I desperately ask for your prayers.

My oldest daughter, Victoria, has been on a journey away from God for several years. She has estranged herself from her family (in a very bizarre fashion), and has been battered about by the world in ways I will not describe, but that would have brought most to their knees by now.

However, in my spirit, I sense shift in the tides of her life.

The past two days, I have had an opportunity to speak with her about her spiritual walk in ways I have never had. God has given me a boldness that blows me away...it's one of those times where I sit back and wonder "Where did THAT come from?!"

She seems receptive...but appearances can deceive. But we have talked candidly and I have held nothing back...calling sin sin and reminding her of her calling in God.

She has met another young man, and I have to admit...I feel something in my spirit over this one. His name is Brandy, and he is in the military. While I should be feeling "Oh, here we go again..." this time I feel...

HOPE.

So, join with me. Pray for these two young people. She tells me he is a believer who has walked away, just as she has. There are issues involved that I know God does not honor, but despite that, I still feel a stirring regarding her that I haven't felt in...I don't know how long.

And I feel a peace. For the first time in ages, I feel a true peace in my soul regarding my daughter. Maybe because I've allowed God to pull me from the muck and the mire of the pit she threw me in all those years ago with her rebellion.

Regardless, I like this peaceful feeling. I want to claim it and keep it. But I am a flawed and fragile being...would you also pray for me to keep my peace and mind centered on Him?

This is a dangerous path I walk with her. It is filled with pits and temptations and distractions...but if I can keep my eyes from turning to the left or to the right, and keep them on my precious Savior's back as He goes before us, it will be all right.

Please, pray for restoration for Victoria and Brandy to God. Pray for me to remain in Him regardless of what comes. And pray for the powerful potential in Jesus that I sense in these two precious young people.

Be blessed, and thank you from the depths of my soul for your prayers,

Deena

Profiling...

Ok, we're going to get a little personal today...hope you're ready for it!!

In our book, "Having A Mary Spirit", on pages 28-29, Joanna gives us a profile for our flesh woman...or as I like to call mine, "Evil Gertrude"....

Which of these telltale signs identify your Flesh Woman?

1) A prideful spirit
2) A love of praise
3) A touchy temper
4) A willful attitude
5) A fearful heart
6) A jealous mind
7) A dishonest disposition
8) A lack of faith
9) A wandering eye
10) A spiritual deadness
11) A love of self

Before you do this self exam, I recommend praying Psalm 139:23-24 as Joanna lists at the end of this segment.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart...know it inside and out...see if there is any wicked way in me...I know there is, but I want You to uncover it...and lead me in the way everlasting...show me the path out of the pit of Evil Gertrude...I want her to leave me alone to be who You want me to be..."

Ok, having done that, this is what I came up with for me...I know beyond any doubt that I am guilty of every sign of that flesh woman...but two plague me frequently, nay, every day...

I have such a fearful heart...I hate not knowing what will happen in a certain situation...I'm dealing with two of them right now. I struggle with letting God have His way, and I get upset with Him because He won't "clue me in"...if He'd just tell me more, I wouldn't be so afraid...

But it doesn't work that way. And most likely, if He did tell me, it would scare me to death, paralyzing me and making me even more ineffective than my fear already tends to make me.

My other biggest battle with Evil Gertrude is a lack of faith...they tend to go hand in hand. I'm fearful because I lack faith...

What it all boils down to is I have a difficult time trusting God. Oh, not all the time, just in crunch times...the times I need to trust Him the most, of course.

Joanna describes a lack of faith like this:

"Are you easily discouraged in times of pressure and opposition? Do you lack quiet confidence and settled trust in God? Do you worry and complain in the midst of pain, poverty or trials that God allows? Are you overly anxious about whether situations will turn out all right?"

That is me to a T...unfortunately. And I hate that. Oh, how I long to be a pillar of strength, able to withstand every storm of life with a serene smile and a calm spirit...Instead, I tend to become a whimpering mass of jello, quivering in my shoes and constantly asking God, "Are you SURE it's going to be ok?"

But did you catch that one phrase that caught my eye: ..."That God allows."...now, THAT packed a punch...He allows these things into my life, into our lives, so that we WILL learn to trust Him....so that we WON'T lack faith when they come.

I'm pleased to realize that I don't stay lacking in faith as long as I used to...I am able to trust Him in the midst...but not after some healthy whine (no cheese, though). So, pray for me in these two areas, if you would please...I and Evil Gertrude would appreciate it very, very much...

Your turn....

Be blessed today, my dear friend...God loves you, and He thinks you're pretty neat!!

Deena

For Those Who Pray...

Ok, I've started this honestly policy in my life (oh, Father, what have I done?)...so...

I want to thank those of you who pray for me. You kept me safe. I was in a minor fender bender today.

I would LOVE to tell you I did God proud, but I was a little testy when she started in on me...only a little, mind you.

My kids think I'm a hero, but I know...I'm just a mom with feet of clay...and probably higher insurance...

Please pray...don't know how this will ultimately play out...but I and my trusty Kia are well.

Be blessed, and pray for someone today...you never know what they may need...

Deena

A Safe Place...

(Yay, a bonus blog!! I just have a lot on my mind today, I guess... )

See if you can guess my riddle:

When you install a new stove/oven, what do you have to have?

When you light a fire in the fireplace, what is the one thing you must be sure you have for the fire to burn adequately?

Where does dryer exhaust need to go?

My mom once had a pressure cooker. She used to make this delicious Burgundy Beef (one of the few times alcohol was allowed in my restrictive Baptist home...I was VERY impressed as a child! LOL!).

I was fascinated and fearful at the same time.

The cooker had this little wobbly thing on the top that let steam escape. Without it, my mom said it would explode, becoming a danger, even a deadly weapon. I would watch it from a distance, praying God wouldn't let the wobbly thing fall off or get clogged up.

So, the answer to my riddle?

They all need a place to VENT.

Now, if inanimate objects need safe places to vent, HELLO!!! So do we.

I discussed this a little bit last night with a dear friend. We all struggle with the need to vent, to share our burdens, as opposed to not wanting to gossip, as opposed to not wanting to give people a reason to back stab us, as opposed to not wanting people to judge us, etc.

I believe that if we don't find a safe place to let off steam, we will be like my mom's pressure cooker-- we'll explode, becoming a danger to others.

Of course, the safest place to do this is with God. We have got to be honest in our prayers. If we truly believe He is the God we say He is, He can handle anything we throw at Him. And He already knows it anyway. So if your prayer life isn't honest, well, that's a problem that needs correcting quickly.

Beth Moore, my hero, says this: "If we tattle to Daddy-God, we won't be as likely to tattle to sister so and so." And she's totally right.

Sometimes, though, I need that reassuring hug, that look of understanding, that shoulder to cry on. I'm sure you do as well.

So, what does a Godly Christian woman do?

A few suggestions, in my humble opinion:

1) First and foremost, are you talking to God about it all? It does no good to talk to someone about your struggles and burdens if you're not talking to Him.

Once you've found someone to confide in, or vent with:

2) What does she say about other people? Chances are, if she talks about others and their struggles, she'll talk about yours as well.

3) Has she walked the same path you are walking? Then you may find a compassionate ear here...just take what she shares to the Scriptures.

4) Test the waters. Don't dive in head first before you know what's under the surface. Share a little before you share a lot.

5) Don't unburden with just one person all the time. You might be tempted to see them as your rescuer, and ignore your True Deliverer...

6) What's the purpose in your venting? Is it to harm or to heal? If you just want to "spill your guts", you might want to rethink it and take it to God only. But if you need help sorting the truth from the fiction, or the problem from the solution...two heads can be better than one.

7) Make sure you're still connected to the Vine, and then trust your heart. If you feel uncomfortable sharing, ask yourself why. Sometimes it isn't appropriate, and sometimes we don't want to be "exposed"...check your spirit, and proceed from there.

Most of all, we have to, as a body of believers, as the church of the Living God, get to the point where we can listen, bear one another's burdens, and pray for those overtaken in sin...because that's what we're TOLD to do in Scripture...and to [those] who know to do right and do it not, it is sin....."

Be blessed and trust in Him, and ask who He wants you to bless today...

Deena

Where's Your Focus??

In Terms of Nearsighted Vision:

This is an on-going battle with my kids...maybe you fight it, too. They can watch 2500 television shows, but let me say no to just one particular show, and they obssess over getting me to change my mind.

Or, I decide to watch what I eat, pick a plan that allows hundreds of choices, and the one thing I'm not supposed to eat I crave till I go crazy in the head.

Or, I buy 30 of the newest releases in Christian fiction, and a new one is due to be released in a week, and I focus on how to get that new novel as quickly as possible, ignoring the others I just HAD to have when they came out.

Instead of seeing what we have, we focus on what we don't have...and we get frustrated and discouraged, ultimately becoming ineffective.

Where's your vision? Is it on what you have, or don't have? My husband cannot sing, but man, can he preach!!

I can't sew worth anything, and my housekeeping leaves a lot to the imagination--imagine it's clean, ok? But I've been told I can write and teach.

My kids are allowed to do certain things their friends can do, and some things I say no to. But they have more freedom than they realize they have.

Esther, a sweetie at our church, cannot see well anymore...with her physical eyes, that is. But spiritually, she is twenty-twenty...and man, can she pray!!

In Terms Of Farsighted Vision:

My oldest sister recently considered lasic eye surgery to correct her vision. Since we both have the same vision issues, I was interested in what she found out.

In order to know if the surgery would work for her, she was given two different contact lenses: one for seeing close up, one for seeing distance. If her eyes could adjust wearing both, and switching off depending on what she needed to see, she could qualify for the surgery.

It drove her brain crazy.

She didn't have the surgery. Neither will I.

Sometimes I wonder if that isn't what's wrong with the church today. We are trying to see eternity with one eye while focusing on the here and how with the other eye.

It will drive us crazy. I just don't believe we were meant to live that way.

So, back to my heading...where's your focus?

This is a two-fold issue, I realize...on the one hand, I'm talking contentment with what blessings we have, what triumphs we have, what work we have to do.

On the other, I'm talking about setting our sight on things above, and not on things below. That is the key to both. Because if we are focused on God's face, we won't see ours quite so clearly. If we are focused on His will, what others say won't ring so loudly in our ears.

If we are focused on how He has blessed us, satan won't be able to distract us with our current troubles.

So, where's your focus? Do you need to see the Great Physician for an eye exam? I hear He's taking appointments. And He's always accepting new patients.

I'm making my appointment right now.

See you later!! **giggle**

Deena

Not Keeping Quiet!

There is a message that God is working out in me that I feel compelled to share. This is a work in progress, and praise God we are making progress! But it is a process, which means I am definitely not there yet, but I'm getting there by His grace.

In our book, "Having A Mary Spirit," I read this in chapter 3:

You see, I've come to realize that satan is not nearly as disappointed at losing me from his kingdom as he is determined to keep me from being effective in God's kingdom. If satan can't make me fall away from God's grace, he will do everything he can to keep me from fully embracing God's grace. Satan wants me--and he wants you!--to be so constantly preoccupied with what we're not that we never get around to realizing all that God is. Our enemy wants to keep us so consumed with our inadequacies that we never get around to appropriating the love and transforming power God has made available to us through His Son.

Did you get that? Satan knows he's lost us once we put our faith and our trust in God for our eternal salvation. He can never, ever get us back. He knows that better than we know it.

However, if he can get us focused on how unworthy we are, we won't ever focus on how worthy God is. Basically, he will do anything and everything he can to get us to think about us, and to keep us from thinking about Him.

I have news for everyone reading this: we're not worthy. We are all flawed, imperfect beings. We all have shortcomings. We are all messed up in some way. Isn't that GREAT NEWS?!?!?!

That's why Jesus came. That's why He died. That's why His spirit lives in us. That's why we have God's Word. That's why we have fellowship in church. That's why we do the things we do to encourage one another, like baring our souls in an internet blog.

I'm a mess. Plain and simple. And so are you, sweet friend. But PRAISE GOD He's got it all together!! And He shares it with us! His goal in this life we live is to make us more and more like Him, the way we were always meant to be.

So, don't let the enemy continue to pound on you about how inadequate you are. Agree with him and then shout in his face, "BUT MY GOD MAKES ME ADEQUATE THROUGH HIS PERFECTION!" Believe it. It's truth.

Enjoy the mess that you are, because you are becoming less of a mess and more like your Heavenly Father each and every day you walk with Him. Don't let the enemy distract you from that walking and talking with God that is so infinitely precious.

I speak this from one who knows. I don't need anyone to put me down...I do a much better job myself. I know better than anyone where I fall short, where I mess up, and where I struggle. Sometimes, the devil goes on vacation when it comes to me, because I do his work for him.

But God is showing me..."Yes, Deena, you're a mess, you beautiful creature! And I love that mess I named Deena. I died for her. I redeemed her. She's MINE, and I will work with her and on her until she looks JUST LIKE ME...."

Focus your eyes on God today. Hear His voice telling you what He's telling me...You Are His If You Believed Him For Your Salvation...and He adores you...He loves you...and He will never, EVER leave you alone...Let that bring you joy today.

Being a mess for Jesus,

Deena

All Rolled Up!

For those who don't know this about me, it might be shocker. You might want to sit down for this one.

I have wacky quirks.

I do, I really do! I get these wild ideas, and have to try them. Sometimes I just get bored, and challenge myself to see if I can do something. No good reason...just to see if I can.

After Christmas, I challenged myself to see how much change I could save. See, I've been known to dig around my seats in the car for change to get a Diet Coke at AM/PM...so this was a challenge for me. I could spend dollars, but no coins.

I did pretty good! So good, that I went and bought a coin sorter. You know, the kind that runs on batteries. I pour a handful in, and it sorts them into the coin tube holders, and when they are full to overflowing, I simple pop the tube out, crimp the top, and voila! A roll of coins.

Sometimes I wish life was like that. You pour all of your problems into this handy dandy gadget, it sorts them into categories, such as "work", "kids", "marriage", "weight management", "silly quirks", etc. Then you just flip a switch, it fills the tube with your troubles, you crimp the top and voila, they are gone.

But life isn't like that. It's messy. Sometimes my troubles overlap one another, leaving my life feeling like a messy tapestry of "what do I do now!" The burdens, they linger, and I try to do what I know is best...and it's still a mess.

As a child of God, I want my life neat and orderly, to present it to God as a pretty, pretty package. But I can't get my arms around this mess I call my life, let alone tidy it up. And He knows that. He takes into account my weaknesses and my struggles. He made me; He knows how fragile I am.

Sometimes it gets so messy I just want to throw my hands up and scream "I can't do this anymore! I give up! UNCLE!!!" But then my soul quiets down, and I remember the words of the Apostle Peter, when Jesus asked the disciples if they were going to give up and walk away from this hard life they were called to.

See, life following Jesus got hard. He had some things to say that were difficult to take. And many of those who followed Him threw their hands up in the air and cried out, "We can't do this anymore! We give up!" and they walked away.

Turning to his Twelve, He asked them, "You do not want to leave Me too, do you?"

To which Peter spoke, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that You are the Holy One of God," John 6:67-69.

I want order. I want a nice tidy package. I want to have it all together, and to remember where I put it. I want to be as cool as some people think I am (and cooler than others believe!).

But I'm not. And I live in chaos most of the time. But that's ok. He'll take my chaos and shape it into something beautiful. Kind of like that Diamond Rio song, "What a beautiful mess, what a beautiful mess I'm in..."

We don't have to have it all together, because we know the One who has it all together. We don't have to be super-cool, because we have an Awesome God. And while life gets messy, wouldn't you rather be in the mess with Him than have the neat and tidy without Him?

I'll keep challenging myself in weird ways. I may purchase another handy dandy device to meet that challenge. But one thing I'll never do, and I say this by His grace...I'll never walk away from the One who loves me, mess and all, quirks and all...

Because where else can I go? Only He has the answers to all of my questions...and only He holds the words of eternal life.

Now, I have more coins to roll up, so I'm outta here!

Be blessed, and let Him love on you, mess and all...'cause I KNOW I'm not the only one!!

Deena

I'm Going To Bare My Soul A Bit, So Be Prepared!!

As the heading of this blog says, I'm going to open up a private part of my struggle to believe God. And I am asking you who read for your help. So, if you don't want any part, now's the time to click out of here.

If you're still reading, then I assume you will pray for me in this area. Because I desperately need it.

Our oldest daughter is a prodigal child. We have struggled along with her for several years now. A few weeks ago, she turned 20. With the exception of a couple of months back home, she has lived on her own for 2 years.

I know I've given her sound, Biblical counsel throughout the course of her wandering. At times, it has been so solid that even I have been amazed at the words coming out of my mouth.

"Wow, I didn't know I was THAT smart!"

"You're not," God always replies, "But I am. So hush up and let Me do the talking." And I do. Most of the time.

This struggle with her is my weak spot. A day in her presence can take me weeks to recover from. The mess that is her life pulls at me like an anchor, holding me under with her until I feel like giving up to the current and staying down forever.

I'm tired of this. And I want out of it.

Oh, I still love her. My love for her has grown tremendously since she walked away from her God and her family. It seems to grow proportionately--however far she strays is however much I love her...twisted, isn't it??

But I can't be her hero. I can't be the one to pull her out of her pit. God has to do that. And I keep getting in His way, trying to do His job, and since I'm NOT God, well, you can see the mess I'M in, can't you??

I've been reading "Get Out Of That Pit!" by Beth Moore, and realized early on (like the first page!), that I'm in a pit. I didn't jump in, and I didn't slip in...I was thrown in by my daughter's rebellion. But that doesn't matter much...I'm still in a pit.

I need my sisters in Christ to pray for me to find solid ground and to be able to stand upon it, rock solid, no matter what my daughter says, does, or what happens to her. I will be praying as well, but I can feel the weakness in my being, and know I cannot do this without prayer support.

Staying out of the pit has been a lifelong struggle for me, for a variety of reasons. But praise God, through the prayers and teaching from several of my sisters in Christ (you know who you are...I've told you enough!) I spend more time on the Rock of my salvation than in the mud and mire of the pit.

So I know I can have victory in this. I claim it as my right as a child of God. I need your prayer support to make my stand and to stand firm.

I cannot pull my daughter out of the pit she is in. I can only pray for her to cry out to her Deliverer, and to see her Deliverer coming, and for her to finally be delivered.

Pray for her as well.

I hope I haven't disappointed anyone with this post. But this morning I felt an urgent need to post this. If you are in a pit, get out. God doesn't mean for you to be there, and He's waiting to deliver you from it. We can stand on solid ground, but it has to be on Him. There is no other solid ground in this world.

I highly recommend Beth's book. She has given me hope--no, GOD has restored my hope through Beth's work...and I praise God for her, a former pit dweller.

So, would you please pray for me? To find solid footing, and to stand firm come what may? To release my child to my God and to trust Him with her, no matter what I see with my human eyes? To stay out of that pit? Please?

I thank you, humbled by the gift of your prayers.

Deena

Daisy Chains...

Remember those things? Those chains of flowers that we would weave together and make into wreaths for our hair, or bracelets, or even necklaces...so tightly woven together that we could pretty much do anything to them and they would hold.

It took some effort. It took someone else teaching us how to weave the best and the strongest chains. I used to make them out of clover, too, and sometimes I had to poke a hole in one flower to weave the other one to it.
But they still held together, and provided an afternoon of fun and beauty.

Why do I bring that up?

This morning, I received some very disturbing news about my oldest daughter. This isn't the first time I've received this kind of news, and I fear it won't be the last. It rocked me to my very core as a mom, as a woman...as a child of God.

And then we left for church. All the way there, I talked to myself about just "getting over it"...maybe it wasn't true, or as bad as I thought it was...but I knew. Deep down I knew that it was bad, and quite possibly will be worse before it's over.

We pulled into the church parking lot, and I told my husband, "I don't think I can go in there. I can't pretend things are ok, when I feel like I'm coming coming apart."

He said, "Then don't pretend." "I have to," I said. "No, you don't," he responded back.

Well, me being me, I tried. I honestly tried to smile through my tears and to just brush it off as "one of those things." But then a dear sister walked in and asked "How are you?" and reached out to hug me.

And I fell apart.

So, she took me outside, and I poured out my heart to her in just a few words. And she wrapped me in the warmest, most comforting hug...kissed my forehead like my mom would do...and just cried with me. No words, except, "I'm so sorry."

That's it.

And I felt my daisy chain begin to weave itself. All through the service, when I felt overwhelmed to the point of collapse, I could look over at her and know, "She knows, and she's got my back." That brought me such huge comfort...and helped me to let go and worship God.

My worship today wasn't full of joy and overflowing. It was a quiet assurance of the heart that, yes, He is there. And, yes, He does care. And yes, He will get you through this, and you will still be used by Him, and He is still in control...you get the picture.

After worship I spoke to another dear sister in Christ about our news. She has been a source of strength to me in other amazing ways...and she was the one I called on when we got the last shocker about our wayward daughter. So I knew she'd understand.

And the chain got longer and stronger, because now there were four of us (God always counts as our first and strongest link!).

I share this with you because I know I'm not the only one struggling with things that threaten to take me under. I know I'm not the only one who cannot go this Christian road alone. I know I'm not the only one who is hurting, bleeding in her very soul, seeking the balm of healing and begging for answered prayer.

We cannot do this life alone. We are women, and we are strong, but we were never meant to walk alone. The Lone Ranger was a television character...not the example for the Christian life.

We need to begin forming Daisy Chains...chains of women, arms linked in solidarity, knees bent in prayer, and our backs covered by one another, so that together we can withstand our enemy, who despises us as much as God loves us.

Our children are getting lost in the wilderness. Our marriages are under attack from internet pornography and other wild and easily accessed temptations. Our worth as women is attacked every day by media images and our own mirrors.

We need one another. We aren't called a sisterhood for nothing! Let's link arms, get each other's backs, and join forces against an unseen but vicious enemy.

Begin prayer groups, accountability groups, hook up with a Bible study partner...do it via phone, email, blog, or face to face. Just DO it. And don't, don't...DO NOT forget to get yourself planted in a Bible believing church.

No more excuses. Time is getting short, and satan is getting angrier by the day. We've got to daisy chain together and stand firm on God's Word...and we can do it.

I did it today. And it felt SO good to know I didn't stand alone anymore. It took courage...it took vulnerability...it took all I had left...and it took me to a place of safety and fellowship that my soul has been longing for.

So, let's Daisy Chain together, shall we? I'm willing to be a link with you...just let me know...my email is at the end of this post, and I'm willing to be used by God to link with my sisters in Christ.

Be blessed, link up, and bless someone else who desperately needs blessing today!

Deena
thedeena63@hotmail.com

Question of the Week, February 10, 2007

Look at the sidebar in our book, "Conviction versus Condemnation" on page 37. How do these two things work in your life? Which side do you want to live on? Why?

For those who don't yet have a copy of our book, here we go:

CONVICTION FROM GOD:
pinpoints problems
targets specific actions
leads to repentance (godly sorrow)
offers solutions
makes us hopeful
enables us to change
brings us closer to God

CONDEMNATION FROM SATAN:
obscures problems
makes general accusations
leads to regret (worldly sorrow)
appoints blame
makes us hopeless
keeps us from change
drives us away from God

So, which do you live under, conviction or condemnation?

For me, it's most often condemnation...and yes, I know the Scripture that tells me I don't live at that address anymore. That gives me understanding, but it doesn't always give me peace.

When you've lived in the same home for years, decades even, and you move to a new address, sometimes you mindlessly drive back to where you came from. And sometimes you have such strong memories of your previous dwelling that you can't get comfortable in your new one, even though it's cleaner, more spacious, and in a much better neighborhood.

I lived on Condemnation Avenue for most of my life, courtesy of my dad, my church, and many other people in my life. I finally was motivated to move around 8 years ago...and it's hard to remember where I live now at times.

I hear a certain tone of voice and I'm right back in my old neighborhood. A look of reproof from a strong personalitied individual, and I'm packing my stuff and hooking up the old U-Haul. Or a bad habit reappears and the self-loathing tapes begin to roll.

Sounds pathetic, doesn't it?

But the good news is I'm quicker to respond in His grace, and I'm beginning to recognize when I've migrated to the old neighborhood and to scurry back home where I belong. Maybe one day I won't even remember Condemnation Avenue...I don't know, I lived there for so long.

Joanna's warning hit home with me: what starts as conviction by the Holy Spirit can quickly turn to condemnation from the enemy if we don't respond immediately with repentance.

This is true...and another very good reason why we can't afford to hide behind masks of perfection any longer. We have to be real and honest, to take the Scripture to heart that says "Confess your sins to one another, and PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER, that you may be healed" (James 5:16).

Did you catch those capital letters in that verse...it doesn't say gossip, share, fix, rebuke, condemn, or any of the other words we are prone to insert...it says to PRAY for one another.

The two go hand in hand. Confess, and pray. Maybe if we do both, the church will be more relevant to a lost and dying world...food for thought.

Now, it's your turn...come on, ya know ya wanna!!

Be blessed, 'cause I love you!

Deena

It's Time...

Most of you, if not all, have heard the news about Anna Nicole Smith passing away. All the fame, all the money, all the everything couldn't fill the empty spot in her heart.

I watched a snip of her final interview, and she was so alone, so used up, so tragically in despair.

My first thought was, "Oh, did she know Jesus?" And my heart broke.

We all know Anna Nicole's. Women whose lives are a constant struggle for meaning and for purpose. Women whose lives cry for someone to notice them, to give their lives meaning. Women who are bleeding for someone to love them just as they are, and then walk with them to where they are meant to be.

What are we doing about it? How are we impacting these precious lives for Christ?

I did not know Anna Nicole, and was not part of her circle of influence.

But I do know other women who are hurting, and I am in their circle of influence.

And so are you.

It's time...to move in the name of Jesus into the lives of these women.

It's time...to move out of our church buildings and into the world to turn it upside down for God's Kingdom.

It's time...for us to realize our worth as women in God's Kingdom and to put our worth and our talents and our gifts to use as they were intended to be.

It's time...to lay ourselves on the altar for Him, to be poured out as offerings on behalf of those who seek Him whom they know not of.

We are losing the current generation.

What are we going to do about it?

Pray for me, with me, that we will be an army of God, marching on our knees and wielding the Word of God against our true enemy, the devil, the father of lies, that we will be arms of love and ministers of truth to a generation that is DYING for someone to tell them what really matters in this life.

Join me?

Deena

God's Ways...

Ever have a great idea and God gets ahold of it and blows your mind?

That happened to me with this blog.

I began Wholly Devoted as a way for our women's fellowship to keep in touch between meetings. We are a small rural church and are so spread out in distance that we miss each other during the weeks we don't meet.

We began our new study, "Having A Mary Spirit" by Joanna Weaver in February...the blog began in January. I post questions encouraging dialog with our fellowship.

The mind blowing part?

We have people all across the United States and around the world checking out this blog! They aren't posting, and they may only stop by once...but they are stopping by...

So, what does this mean?

While the basic intent was for fellowship among the women and the friends of our church, God has greater purposes for this blog...and other blogs.

We will continue to post study questions from our book. And we will continue posting discussions about our book. But don't be alarmed if we go off topic and tackle things that women around the world might struggle with.

This is going to be a fun ride...so buckle up, and let's get busy for God...k?

And a bit of information...if you'd like to post, you don't have to have a google account...you can post anonymously (just put your name at the end of your post if you want me to know who you are). But google accounts are free, and easy to sign up for. And then you can post at any blog you find to read...

So, jump in...the water's great! And let's see what God's going to do...it'll blow our minds!!

Be blessed, and know we are reaching 'round the world with our blessings!!

Deena

Struggling to Keep Up...

Hey, if anyone is struggling to read her (or his) Bible on a regular basis, check out this article for some inspiration:

http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2004/004/8.38.html

Let me know what you think (and no, I didn't write it! I just found it!)

Deena

God Is Looking For Some FAT Women!!

Didja like that header?? I read that in an email newsletter and thought, "Sign Me Up!"

Then I read the blurp underneath the header, and thought, "Whoa...really sign me up."

See, God is looking for F.A.T. women.

Faithful, available and teachable.

I want to be faithful, but sometimes it gets in the way of what I want to do. I'm not the most disciplined person (no, really!). I get distracted, overcommitted, and just plain selfish at times. It takes a lot to follow through on committments--it's so easy to say yes, but so hard to DO yes, you know?

And available? Sometimes the thought of lunch with a friend makes me want to weep--with exhaustion! I stay so busy doing what I HAVE to do, there isn't much time left for what I WANT to do...or so I'm convinced by someone.

I read once that satan's biggest plan against Christians is to keep them busy...that's it. Just busy, busy, busy...and I think it's working. I'm not nearly as busy as I believe I am...and if I am, well, then I'm just too busy!!

Now, for teachable...

Too often I think I know enough--I'm smart enough to know I don't know it ALL--and wonder what else is there left to learn.

I've learned that THAT is a dangerous thought to have...because God will then SHOW me what else I have to learn.

Trust me, it's a lot!

But having grown up in the church, the temptation is there to have a "been there, bought the t-shirt" kind of mentality. We have to realize that we will never grasp all He has for us to learn in this lifetime, and quite probably even in the next.

So, God is looking for some F.A.T. women...and I never thought I'd say this...

I want to be F.A.T.

How 'bout you?

Being F.A.T. for God!, and trying to be a blessing to others...

Deena

Beth Moore has her own blog...

Thought I'd share the wealth with you all...I absolutely adore Beth Moore, and when I grow up I would like to teach like her...

Oh, forgot my own blog post on comparing!! LOL!! See how easy it is?!?

Anyhoo, go check it out!

http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

Deena

Wishes...

Have you ever had this happen to you?

I once had someone tell me they wished they were me.

Once I picked up my jaw, stopped laughing hysterically and came to my senses, I asked her why in the world would she wish that?

This poor girl thought I had it all together.

I'm here to tell you I didn't then, I don't now, and if I did, I'd forget where I'd put it (Oh, the joys of menopausal memory loss!).

She had no idea what my life was really like. She only knew what I felt safe letting her know. But to be me? She had no idea.

Now, I've wished I was someone different before. I've even wished I could be more like [fill in the blank]--did you REALLY think I was going to share that info?? That's classified! LOL! But when this young woman said that to me, I realized some things.

1) She needed professional help.

2) She didn't have enough information to know how wrong her wish was.

3) I needed to work on being more honest about my struggles.

4) We are designed to be the person we are, and not designed to be anybody else.

That last one is crucial. As women, we tend to compare--body sizes, hair styles, children/husbands, homes, abilities/talents...the list is endless. And somehow, we always seem to come up short compared to other women.

But think about this for a moment...

You (and I) are designed to be just who we are. No one else can handle being me, and no one else is capable of being you. God wired us just right to be the person He made us to be. Otherwise, doncha think He'd have made us someone else??

Plus, think of ice cream. Wouldn't it be incredibly boring if all we had was vanilla? Or pistachio...I'd never be able to eat ice cream (I'm highly allergic). But we have mocha almond fudge, chocolate, strawberry, tutti-frutti, spumoni, vanilla, fudge ripple, etc...

Why shouldn't variety among women be okay as well? I think it's great that my friend Lola can do a multitude of crafts, and I love the work she does. I think my friend Veronica is a great cook and I just adore her smile. My friend Claudia gives the best hugs and it is so easy to make her laugh...and the list goes on and on and on. (Did I mention how loyal my sister-in-law Brenda is??)

Life would be boring if we were all alike. Some talents would be wasted, because no one would have them. Church would be one-dimensional instead of vibrant and alive. We need the differences among us to challenge and inspire each other.

So, the next time you're tempted to wish "I wish I was more like [fill in the blank]", or to wish "I wish I could do [fill in the blank] like she can"...remember this...

You were made to be YOU in the body of Christ for a reason, and it's a good one! And no one else is capable of being YOU like YOU are...or could handle it!! Hey, it's hard work being me! I wear myself out sometimes!!

Admire others, but be YOURSELF...you're the only one who can!

And that poor girl who wished she had my life? She's in therapy now...lol!!

Be blessed, and bless someone with YOU...'cause you're SO good at it!

Deena

Answer to yesterday's question...

Yesterday I posted a question regarding "good dog/bad dog", or spiritual woman vs. flesh woman. I asked you what feeds which dog...here's my response.

Believe it or not, sometimes daily Bible reading, prayer, and faithful church attendance feed my flesh woman more than my spiritual woman. I've found myself in trials, crying out, "Why? I don't deserve this! I read my Bible, go to church, I pray...I don't deserve [fill in the blank]."

I act like my godly behavior scores me points above, entitling me to skip pain and suffering and go directly to blessing and ease. WRONG!! It isn't enough for me to do what's right to feed my spiritual woman...I have to do it because it's right, not because it earns me anything.

Or because it makes me better than those [other people]. If being spiritual makes me look down on a brother or a sister in Christ, am I really spiritual??

Flesh woman doesn't just crave fleshly things...sometimes she craves the spiritual things...just for all the wrong reasons. She's tricky, that Flesh Woman...but I'm wise to her ways...and Spiritual Woman is on the move...and I say that MOST humbly!!

Your turn...

Be blessed, and bless someone, not to score points above, but to lead someone to Him...

Deena

Good Doggie!! part one

Did you read Joanna's story about the "good dog, bad dog"? Basically, we all have a good dog and a bad dog inside us. Which one wins depends on which one we feed.

So, how do you make sure you feed your spiritual woman and starve your flesh woman?

Do you keep away from things, do certain things?

And what does your flesh woman stuff herself with? For some, it's shopping. For others, it might be dieting/weight loss/health obsession.

Maybe if we talk it out, we can learn to feed the spiritual woman and starve the flesh woman. So, what do you think?

I'll post my response later...give you time to think about it and post...

Deena

Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen!

Well, it's finally happened. After more than a week, wondering and watching...it's happened.

Pastor Dave is now sick.

The rest of us are on the mend, and he has come down with the flu (or a bad cold, it's hard to tell).

I guess some people are just late bloomers:-)

Pray for him, as he is not a happy camper right now.

Deena

If you just can't get enough

blogs, check out my new one at MySpace...the link is here somewhere!!

Oh, here it is!

http://blog.myspace.com/in_a_daze_today

Enjoy!

Deena

The Battle of the Blues

I'm battling the blues again. Seems to be the story of my life. In high school I was diagnosed with SAD (seasonal affective disorder). I also found out, after my oldest was born, that I have classic PMS. Then there's just my general moodiness.

I've suffered from the blues for so long, I've color coded them.

Indigo Blue--sadness tinged with anger

Periwinkle Blue--spiritually fine, but physically depressed

Sky Blue--everything is fine, but it feels like something's wrong

Bluegreen--depression brought on by illness, more specifically the flu

Aqua Blue--been blue for so long you feel like you're going under for the last time

Face it, as females, we are more susceptible to the blues. Hormones, home demands vs. work demands, a never-ending "to-do" list...and our desire to make everyone happy all at once.

So, what do we do? How do we get from the blues back into the pink? What's the solution?

First and foremost, stay connected to Him. When you don't feel like praying, pray. When you don't feel like reading the Word, read it anyway. When you feel like hiding or pretending, remember that Jesus came so that we might be REAL...especially with Him.

Also, know it's common...you're not alone. Satan will do everything he can to make you feel isolated and alone...don't believe him. Someone in your circle of influence has been there, and they want to help you. Reach out.

The words, "this too shall pass," may sound like an insult, but it's true. Think back to the last event in your life...it ended, didn't it? The sermon, the childbirth, the nap, the hiccups, the sneezing fit...they all end. And the blues will end as well.

Finally, if it is so deep blue that it feels black, get professional help. I'm tired of believers making this into a spiritual issue. Sometimes it is...many times it's not. We are women, subject to all kinds of physical stressors and emotional waves. Medical intervention is often needed, and what if He is urging you to see your doctor and you refuse?

So, I'm battling the blues again today...pray for me. This is familiar territory, but I'm not planning on staying long.

Be blessed, and be a blessing to someone today...you never know...they just might be battling the blues...

Deena

Question Of the Week for February 5, 2007

What kind of situations bring out the "Twanda/Flesh Woman" in you?

For those not reading the book, Joanna is discussing the battle between our flesh and our spirit; what Paul talks about in Romans 7:15-24.

My flesh woman rears her ugly head in two situations without fail: when I'm feel insecure/unworthy/left out, and when I get too full of myself.

Insecure: she whispers things to me, like "Well, you know they're talking about you again." Or her favorite, "Hey, they didn't say anything when they saw you...I wonder what you did to upset them/make them mad/push them away, etc."

Of course, when I get too full of Deena and not full of the Spirit, it goes more like "Hey, you're not bad...not bad at all...in fact, these people NEED you...look at how smart you sound, how clever...you're FUNNY...oops...guess you went too far on that one...they won't be speaking to you tomorrow, you know."

And we continue to chase our tail around the mulberry bush again and again. She builds me up only to tear me down again...kind of like the military!! I wonder if she was a drill sargeant in another dimension....

Anyway, there are definitely tell-tale signs when she is taking control of me, and when the Holy Spirit has her under control...I've learned to watch for them over the course of my life, and praise God I'm getting better at recognizing her before she does too much damage.

And when I don't "get it" in time, I have a wonderful husband who is learning how to gently tell me "She" is showing again....It's a dangerous job for him, but he's up to the task!

So, what about you? If you ARE reading the book, I highly recommend pages 28-29. If you aren't reading it yet...I HIGHLY recommend the book!!

In any case, keep stopping by...there'll be more from me...this chapter packs a meaty punch...

Be blessed, and tell FW to go away, go away...go away, little girl...or something like that!!

Deena

Oh, The Things We Say!!

Have you ever noticed that we say the weirdest things?

Like, "Oh, I've picked up a bug..." meaning we got sick...I mean, who would literally pick up a bug...and then brag about it? And if we truly DID pick up a bug, we DESERVE to get sick!

Or, "I'll keep my eyes open"...of course we keep our eyes open...otherwise, we'll bump into things. That's stating the obvious, but meaning we'll be on the alert.

How about this one, "I'll be praying for you." Do we really mean that one? Or is that just code for "I don't know what else to say, and that sounds really godly, so I'll tell you that..."?

I found myself saying that to people, and then finally realized that I wasn't doing what I said. So, I began to pray for people right when the need was expressed. That way, I kept my word and didn't have to worry about forgetting.

A curious thing happened...

I felt bonded to people. I felt honored to pray for others. I felt closer to God. And I was praying more often (apparently, I promised to pray A LOT and didn't realize it!)...which was a good thing.

At first, it was a bit awkward. But now people are used to me doing it, and it seems more awkward if I don't.

Now, before you think I believe I'm super-spiritual or something...I began to do this because I didn't want to forget to pray and end up lying to people...that isn't super-spiritual...that's just practical.

And it can be a way cool experience. I even email prayers to people who have expressed needs via email. That is cool too.

So, we need to be mindful of what we say...the promises we make.........

If can keep the monkeys off our backs...........!!

Be blessed, and pray for someone...right now...

Deena

How Do You Eat An Elephant?

I know a young woman who is in debt up to her eyeballs, in poor health, facing a life-changing disease, hanging onto her job by a thread, and as lonely as can be.

She is worn out by the world and by life. She has lost her way and can't find the path back home to God. She has been deaf to the words of life and eager to hear the words of destruction.

And now she is crying out for help.


Her life is such a mess...so what can I tell her?


I can tell her how to eat an elephant...

One bite at a time.

How to untangle life's knotted strands...

One string at a time...

How to get back to God...

One step...

Oh, wait, He's right there.

So, if life is overwhelming you...if the darkness of night seems to loom with the day's worries and you can't sleep for fear of what lies in store the next day...if there are more troubles than letters in the alphabet...just remember...

We only breathe one breath at a time.

We only live one heartbeat at a time.

We only spend one second at a time...

Don't try to do your "to do" list all at once. Don't try to solve the world's problems by yourself. And don't attempt to heal the hurts of your loved ones with one swift prayer shot to heaven. ("are you listening, self?" "yeah, I hear ya!")

One step at a time...one thing at a time...one bite at a time...and soon, the elephant is gone...

Hey, who'd want to eat an elephant anyway??

Excuse me, I'm tired...I'm going to go and sit at the Master's feet.

How about you?

Deena

Time To Let Go........

Picture this....

A little girl falls and gets hurt. She is bruised and bleeding, through no fault of her own. Crying, she runs inside her house, searching for the one who can heal her hurts.

Mommy.

Running from room to room, she finds her mother. Relieved, she runs to her and wraps her arms around her mothers legs, holding on for dear life. Her mother reaches down and pats her head, speaking words of comfort to her child. The child continues to hold on as mom moves about her daily duties, refusing to let go.

Cute, huh?

Now, picture THIS...

A little girl is wounded, bruised and bleeding. Before she can utter a cry, two strong arms sweep down and pick her up. Cradled in a strong embrace, her head cradled against mom's chest, she hears the reassuring heartbeat of one who loves her. All motion in her universe stops as she hears whispered words of assurance and feels safe, secure, and loved.

Now, which brings more comfort? For me, it's being held...not holding on.

So, why do we tell those who are hurting, broken and bleeding to just keep holding on to Jesus? We need to be telling them to just keep letting Jesus hold on to them.

When you don't have the strength to reach out, to run to Him, be assured...

He's already on His way to you...and you mean the world to Him.

Be blessed, and be held by the One who loves you!

Deena

(Inspired by my husband's message, which I had to hear on instant replay this afternoon...but I still got the message!!)

Meet the Real Me...

On into chapter three...this is going to be a good one!

Joanna confides on page 25 of our book, "My sister Linda knew it all along. We were in the middle of one of our notorious teenage squabbles when she pulled out her secret weapon, the one thing that could bring me to my knees. 'They all think you're so wonderful,' she sneered, her blue eyes narrowing, her little pug nose twisting with the effort. 'If they only knew what you're really like.'"

Hmmm...that has always been my biggest fear. I didn't grow up with a sister to point that fact out to me...but no need...I did it to myself. "Oh, Deena, if those people at church knew who you really were..."

I still do it today. Hide, pretend, and then worry, "What if they all find out?" And not just at church either...

In fact, my oldest sister just recently told me that she had never known the real me. I was so busy trying to be what I thought everyone expected me to be that I kept hiding the real me. I buried the parts I thought weren't pretty, parts that I thought would push others away.

Ha! Turns out those tend to be the characteristics that people tend to like most about me. Some of which are my quirky/weird sense of humor, my tendency to overdramatize life's events, and my no-nonsense way of accomplishing my goals (remind me to tell you the story about the parking space at Christmastime!).

But my sister also told me that by hiding who I truly was, I made people uncomfortable to be around me. See, it also turns out that people can sense fakery (no that's not a real word, but I like it...).

And it drives them away.

People need to know it's safe to be real. That it's ok to struggle. That we're all working out this life journey, one step at a time.

My husband and I saw a little boy walking along a crosswalk. He slipped and nearly did the splits, but caught himself quickly. Hands stuffed in his pockets, his head cocked in an "I meant to do that" attitude, he slumped along to the other side of the street. How silly! He should have laughed and enjoyed the moment, relieved that he caught himself.

We've got to realize that inside of us lives a twisted sister of some sort. She wants out, and pretending she's not there does no one any good.

Let's work together to get it together, and when we don't...let's cry, pray, and have fun anyway. I admit it---I'm cranky, forgetful, moody, and laugh WAAYY too loud in public. But I also love deeply, think a lot, and am absolutely crazy about my God.

That's the real me...and I'm still workin' on it.

How about YOU??

Deena

P.S. This is a rich chapter...be prepared for a lot of thoughts from me...try to get a word in now and then so I'm not totally talking to myself, k?? LOL!

Disappointed, but not discouraged...

I had hoped to be well enough to be able to attend our first study in our new book. But the flu is not easy to kick...so I'm home. Thank you, Veronica, for stepping in and teaching today!

I know it went well, and I know you all shared a lot. I only wish I could have been there to learn from all of you. Thank you for praying for our family...we are all on the mend...just more slowly than I would have liked.

I will be posting questions for our next study, chapter three, in "Having A Mary Spirit" by Joanna Weaver, over the next few weeks. Please consider getting a copy of the book and joining us on this journey.

And if you find yourself in the Marysville, California area on the first Saturday of each month, join us in person!

Be blessed, and I'll chat with you later.....
Deena

One More Trip Around, Ladies!

Someone I know and love very much has a mountain problem. She keeps making the same trip around it, around and around and around.

She reminds me of the children of Israel. God took them to the edge of the Promised Land, but they couldn't face the giants (hey, isn't that a movie?!), so the went round and round the mountain...for 40 years.

This sweet thing has giants in her land as well. Giants she can't face. Giants that she has met before and is on a first name basis with: fear, guilt, criticism, approval, worry, doubt..and a few more.

Every once in awhile, God takes her to the edge of her own promised land. She'll peer in the distance and then look up at Him and ask, "Giants still in there?" He'll nod his mighty head, she'll shake hers, and off she'll go around that mountain again.

I feel so sorry for her...which is wrong, because self-pity isn't pretty...

Yes, she is me.

I struggle with the same things over and over again. I'm tired of the scenery down here. I'm tired of the oh so familiar landmarks and the worn path.

But these giants loom large in my life. The nice thing is...and I've known this all along...

I know the Giant-Killer! I have Him on speed-dial! I just have to call out His name, in faith, and there we go!

The key for me most times is faith...mine is shallow and weak at the worst of times. But those trips around the mountain tend to strengthen it. They tend to grow it. They aren't totally pointless.

For the Children of Israel, it gave time for the doubters to die. For me, it gives time for my doubt to die. Then I look to the Author and Finisher, my Great Defender, and I am rescued.

I personally don't think I will come into my Promised Land until eternity. I think there are more trips around that mountain in store for me. But praise God the trips get shorter each time and the victories get richer...and one day I'm going to make it.

'Cause I don't want this song sung at my funeral: "She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes..."

No, I want this one: "There's a land that is fairer than day........"

Be blessed, and bless someone (maybe make a trip round her mountain with her today),

Deena

Some Encouragement...And a Request...

Hi there! I'm still not feeling well, so I thought I'd let a friend do my blogging today. I received this in my email this morning, and it ties in with yesterday's two blogs about tools for transformation. Enjoy, and pray for me...3 out the 4 of us are sick...

One month into the New Year . . . How's your Bible reading?

Are you still going strong or have you fallen off the wagon?

If your time with God could use a boost, here are some simple tips for getting back on track . . . OR for getting on track for the first time!

1. REALIZE that the wagon doesn't come by just once a year! If you've fallen off, dust yourself off and get back on!! The truth of the matter is you can start reading your Bible any month, any week, any day of the year, not just January 1! It's true!

2. PRAY that God will put you back on the wagon and help keep you there! Ask Him to give you a passionate desire for His Word.

3. START NOW. Don't put off your reading until tomorrow. START today. In fact, the rest of your e-mail can probably wait until later! ;)

4. CONSIDER investing in a compact Bible that you can carry with you throughout the day to help you make the most of even spare minutes in your schedule.

5. THINK BOOK BY BOOK . . . NOT FRONT TO BACK. Don't worry about starting in Genesis. Start with an easy book like 1 Samuel or the Gospel of John and mark your progress in the Table of Contents as you go.

6. Try some CHUNK reading to give you a jumpstart. What's CHUNK reading? It's clearing an hour or two to read and then diving in. Skeptical? Try it and be prepared to have God amaze you through His Word!

7. Do a SEARCH and REPLACE on the time-wasters in your day. Substitute spending time in God's Word for some of the time you spend watching television, reading the newspaper or magazines, reading other material, or playing video games. Video games? Remember, many of today's adults are the Atari generation.

8. EXPERIMENT and find out what works best for you. Not everyone is a morning person . . . and not everyone is going to be a morning reader.

9. START a small group for accountability. (If you need a book to help you along, I have one I can recommend! ;) Face it, if you know someone is going to ask if you've been reading, chances are you're going to read. If not, who know? Is this a crutch? Maybe, but it's one of the best crutches out there!

10. ALWAYS APPLY what you learn and let God transform you from the inside out!

This list will be available for download and reprint as soon as my wonderful husband/webmaster gets back from his business trip!

About the Father's business,
pam :)
www.deepandwide.org

That book she mentions is called "Ablaze" and it is worth checking out. I like her fresh approach to an important subject. If you have any questions, feel free to post or to email me, as always, at thedeena63@hotmail.com . I'll get back to you as quickly as possible.

Our study begins this Saturday, and I'm sick...**waaaahh****koff**koff**waaaahhh**...please pray for healing so that I can be there and not pass this on to anyone else:-)

Love and blessings to you, and then to someone else through you!

Deena