Profiling...

Ok, we're going to get a little personal today...hope you're ready for it!!

In our book, "Having A Mary Spirit", on pages 28-29, Joanna gives us a profile for our flesh woman...or as I like to call mine, "Evil Gertrude"....

Which of these telltale signs identify your Flesh Woman?

1) A prideful spirit
2) A love of praise
3) A touchy temper
4) A willful attitude
5) A fearful heart
6) A jealous mind
7) A dishonest disposition
8) A lack of faith
9) A wandering eye
10) A spiritual deadness
11) A love of self

Before you do this self exam, I recommend praying Psalm 139:23-24 as Joanna lists at the end of this segment.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart...know it inside and out...see if there is any wicked way in me...I know there is, but I want You to uncover it...and lead me in the way everlasting...show me the path out of the pit of Evil Gertrude...I want her to leave me alone to be who You want me to be..."

Ok, having done that, this is what I came up with for me...I know beyond any doubt that I am guilty of every sign of that flesh woman...but two plague me frequently, nay, every day...

I have such a fearful heart...I hate not knowing what will happen in a certain situation...I'm dealing with two of them right now. I struggle with letting God have His way, and I get upset with Him because He won't "clue me in"...if He'd just tell me more, I wouldn't be so afraid...

But it doesn't work that way. And most likely, if He did tell me, it would scare me to death, paralyzing me and making me even more ineffective than my fear already tends to make me.

My other biggest battle with Evil Gertrude is a lack of faith...they tend to go hand in hand. I'm fearful because I lack faith...

What it all boils down to is I have a difficult time trusting God. Oh, not all the time, just in crunch times...the times I need to trust Him the most, of course.

Joanna describes a lack of faith like this:

"Are you easily discouraged in times of pressure and opposition? Do you lack quiet confidence and settled trust in God? Do you worry and complain in the midst of pain, poverty or trials that God allows? Are you overly anxious about whether situations will turn out all right?"

That is me to a T...unfortunately. And I hate that. Oh, how I long to be a pillar of strength, able to withstand every storm of life with a serene smile and a calm spirit...Instead, I tend to become a whimpering mass of jello, quivering in my shoes and constantly asking God, "Are you SURE it's going to be ok?"

But did you catch that one phrase that caught my eye: ..."That God allows."...now, THAT packed a punch...He allows these things into my life, into our lives, so that we WILL learn to trust Him....so that we WON'T lack faith when they come.

I'm pleased to realize that I don't stay lacking in faith as long as I used to...I am able to trust Him in the midst...but not after some healthy whine (no cheese, though). So, pray for me in these two areas, if you would please...I and Evil Gertrude would appreciate it very, very much...

Your turn....

Be blessed today, my dear friend...God loves you, and He thinks you're pretty neat!!

Deena