All Rolled Up!

For those who don't know this about me, it might be shocker. You might want to sit down for this one.

I have wacky quirks.

I do, I really do! I get these wild ideas, and have to try them. Sometimes I just get bored, and challenge myself to see if I can do something. No good reason...just to see if I can.

After Christmas, I challenged myself to see how much change I could save. See, I've been known to dig around my seats in the car for change to get a Diet Coke at AM/PM...so this was a challenge for me. I could spend dollars, but no coins.

I did pretty good! So good, that I went and bought a coin sorter. You know, the kind that runs on batteries. I pour a handful in, and it sorts them into the coin tube holders, and when they are full to overflowing, I simple pop the tube out, crimp the top, and voila! A roll of coins.

Sometimes I wish life was like that. You pour all of your problems into this handy dandy gadget, it sorts them into categories, such as "work", "kids", "marriage", "weight management", "silly quirks", etc. Then you just flip a switch, it fills the tube with your troubles, you crimp the top and voila, they are gone.

But life isn't like that. It's messy. Sometimes my troubles overlap one another, leaving my life feeling like a messy tapestry of "what do I do now!" The burdens, they linger, and I try to do what I know is best...and it's still a mess.

As a child of God, I want my life neat and orderly, to present it to God as a pretty, pretty package. But I can't get my arms around this mess I call my life, let alone tidy it up. And He knows that. He takes into account my weaknesses and my struggles. He made me; He knows how fragile I am.

Sometimes it gets so messy I just want to throw my hands up and scream "I can't do this anymore! I give up! UNCLE!!!" But then my soul quiets down, and I remember the words of the Apostle Peter, when Jesus asked the disciples if they were going to give up and walk away from this hard life they were called to.

See, life following Jesus got hard. He had some things to say that were difficult to take. And many of those who followed Him threw their hands up in the air and cried out, "We can't do this anymore! We give up!" and they walked away.

Turning to his Twelve, He asked them, "You do not want to leave Me too, do you?"

To which Peter spoke, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that You are the Holy One of God," John 6:67-69.

I want order. I want a nice tidy package. I want to have it all together, and to remember where I put it. I want to be as cool as some people think I am (and cooler than others believe!).

But I'm not. And I live in chaos most of the time. But that's ok. He'll take my chaos and shape it into something beautiful. Kind of like that Diamond Rio song, "What a beautiful mess, what a beautiful mess I'm in..."

We don't have to have it all together, because we know the One who has it all together. We don't have to be super-cool, because we have an Awesome God. And while life gets messy, wouldn't you rather be in the mess with Him than have the neat and tidy without Him?

I'll keep challenging myself in weird ways. I may purchase another handy dandy device to meet that challenge. But one thing I'll never do, and I say this by His grace...I'll never walk away from the One who loves me, mess and all, quirks and all...

Because where else can I go? Only He has the answers to all of my questions...and only He holds the words of eternal life.

Now, I have more coins to roll up, so I'm outta here!

Be blessed, and let Him love on you, mess and all...'cause I KNOW I'm not the only one!!

Deena