I'm Going To Bare My Soul A Bit, So Be Prepared!!

As the heading of this blog says, I'm going to open up a private part of my struggle to believe God. And I am asking you who read for your help. So, if you don't want any part, now's the time to click out of here.

If you're still reading, then I assume you will pray for me in this area. Because I desperately need it.

Our oldest daughter is a prodigal child. We have struggled along with her for several years now. A few weeks ago, she turned 20. With the exception of a couple of months back home, she has lived on her own for 2 years.

I know I've given her sound, Biblical counsel throughout the course of her wandering. At times, it has been so solid that even I have been amazed at the words coming out of my mouth.

"Wow, I didn't know I was THAT smart!"

"You're not," God always replies, "But I am. So hush up and let Me do the talking." And I do. Most of the time.

This struggle with her is my weak spot. A day in her presence can take me weeks to recover from. The mess that is her life pulls at me like an anchor, holding me under with her until I feel like giving up to the current and staying down forever.

I'm tired of this. And I want out of it.

Oh, I still love her. My love for her has grown tremendously since she walked away from her God and her family. It seems to grow proportionately--however far she strays is however much I love her...twisted, isn't it??

But I can't be her hero. I can't be the one to pull her out of her pit. God has to do that. And I keep getting in His way, trying to do His job, and since I'm NOT God, well, you can see the mess I'M in, can't you??

I've been reading "Get Out Of That Pit!" by Beth Moore, and realized early on (like the first page!), that I'm in a pit. I didn't jump in, and I didn't slip in...I was thrown in by my daughter's rebellion. But that doesn't matter much...I'm still in a pit.

I need my sisters in Christ to pray for me to find solid ground and to be able to stand upon it, rock solid, no matter what my daughter says, does, or what happens to her. I will be praying as well, but I can feel the weakness in my being, and know I cannot do this without prayer support.

Staying out of the pit has been a lifelong struggle for me, for a variety of reasons. But praise God, through the prayers and teaching from several of my sisters in Christ (you know who you are...I've told you enough!) I spend more time on the Rock of my salvation than in the mud and mire of the pit.

So I know I can have victory in this. I claim it as my right as a child of God. I need your prayer support to make my stand and to stand firm.

I cannot pull my daughter out of the pit she is in. I can only pray for her to cry out to her Deliverer, and to see her Deliverer coming, and for her to finally be delivered.

Pray for her as well.

I hope I haven't disappointed anyone with this post. But this morning I felt an urgent need to post this. If you are in a pit, get out. God doesn't mean for you to be there, and He's waiting to deliver you from it. We can stand on solid ground, but it has to be on Him. There is no other solid ground in this world.

I highly recommend Beth's book. She has given me hope--no, GOD has restored my hope through Beth's work...and I praise God for her, a former pit dweller.

So, would you please pray for me? To find solid footing, and to stand firm come what may? To release my child to my God and to trust Him with her, no matter what I see with my human eyes? To stay out of that pit? Please?

I thank you, humbled by the gift of your prayers.

Deena