I feel stale in my soul. Like the air is thick and filled with "stuff"...the water is polluted, not poisoned, but just no longer clear. Like my heart is clogged and things are backing up.
I need a fresh view of Jesus. I need a fresh filling of His Spirit. I need renewal.
Is it any coincidence that our church is studying "Downpour" by James MacDonald??
Listen to these words from the title song: Here where self and sin and sadness/ have displaced the oil of gladness/ here in barren desert madness,/weary and dry/cannot run or walk, I'm crawling/ but through shame I hear You calling/ clouds of mercy, raindrops falling/downpour, I need a downpour....
I have a sadness in my soul that weighs so heavy...for my daughter, for her future...for my mom, for missing her so badly I ache...for the ones I love who are hurting...
And there is no oil in my soul...no lubricant to keep things moving, to keep the rough spots from tearing...to keep it from cracking and splitting open, oozing pain and hurt...
Oh, God, how I need a Downpour from You!!
Am I all alone in this? Does my voice echo in the canyon of fear and doubt? Or do I hear you calling as well, "Lord, refresh me, please!"
Can I hear from you today? I don't care if it is anonymous or not...can I hear from you today?
Deena
Monday, April 02, 2007
I Need Refreshing...
Posted by Deena Peterson at 11:19 AM
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2 comments:
Deena, oh sweet sister!! Whew, something must be in the internet, cause I am in such a fog myself and am having a hard time trying to get it out of my head and on to paper and not even sure totally what it is, I just know my spirit is crying out. But I think I may have part of the answer, I need a downpour, a refreshing even a smack on the head from the Lord. ANYTHING!
Father, you are close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit. You are surely close to Deena, Lord. Help her to sense Your presence in her life. She needs you more than she needs the next breath.
I am not leaving. And although you are not responding--I hope you are listening.My God has given me big shoulders--plus He is the one holding me up. You empty yourself. As my pastor said this week. Cry, scream, complain, argue cry some more----and then when you are finally all empty---call to Him and He will fill you. If your cup is already full with you and the downpour comes there will be no room for it.
I pray that you dump it all out--that you become weak like a baby--then I pray, Lord, bring on the strength.
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