When I first told some friends about my on-line blog, they were a bit shocked. "You mean, it's like a journal that anyone can read?" Well, of course it is...it's on the web!
And that didn't bother me...I had things to say, and it was nice to have them read. But then the dark clouds began to roll in, as they do from time to time...
And suddenly the things I had to say revealed more of me than I was used to revealing.
So, I thought for awhile about closing down the blog. Just packing up my keyboard and leaving cyberspace.
But then a sister in Christ posted a comment that struck a chord inside me. Something about being real...
I hear that alot from people. They like the fact that I'm so real...with me, you know what you get. I tell them that I'm such a mess, I can't hide it very well anyway. But even in being genuine...it only goes so far...and then you find the mask behind the face...
Ever do that? Put your "real face" on, and the mask underneath...so that if people get by the first one, the second one shields you from too much scrutiny? After all, people can only handle so much of me...if they ever got it all...well...
But God isn't content with a face, mask underneath. He wants it all out there...Strenths and weaknesses, successes and struggles, triumphs and temptations, happiness and heartaches, victories and defeats...the whole enchilada (oh, great...now I'm hungry again!)...
So, I make this promise to you, my reader...my friend...I will always be honest. As real as I can be. As genuine as brand named.
And when I peel it back and uncover another mask...I'll work to get it off...because I don't ever want anyone to feel the need to pretend with me. To have to hide themselves because "I just won't get it"...
It won't always be pretty. Sometimes it will be downright messy. But if you can handle it...then stick around. If not, there are tons of other blogs out there that will cheer you up and encourage you in other ways.
Life is hard right now, but this one thing I know...God is good, all the time. And it will be better one day.
Be blessed, and thanks for hanging in there with me!
Deena
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
This Is Harder Than I Thought...
Posted by Deena Peterson at 7:51 AM
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4 comments:
He can't change us until we see ourselves for who we really are. Till we have nothing left to fall back on and we finally figure we can't figure it out.
Are we there yet?
Do you really want Him to stop pushing?
Paul gloried in his thorn.
It stopped him from thinking he had it all together. What if I am surrounded with these things because God wants the glory and He does not want me to get conceited?
Could this be why you are where you are?
Can He trust you with this heaviness?
Will you finally cry---UNCLE
Amen.. God is good all the time! I am hanging right there along with you! God is asking me to be more vulnerable and not hide under that mask of fear that if they really knew me they would bolt. Some of them may do just that, but not the Father! Thanks for sticking around and committing to continue to be real. It is a blessing.
Add me to the list of people who need to be more transparent... :)
I thought the blog would be a good way for me to do that :) and sometimes it is... and sometimes it's not...
but it's allowed me to meet other real people and to be encouraged by them...
so for that... i thank you... :)
Ok Deena, you had me a little worried. It has taken me a long time to get out of the image management trap. I am so thankful for the realness of the body of Christ at Loma Rica Baptist (starting with the leadership) because not to long ago I left a situation in which I felt that loving Jesus was'nt enough anymore. It made me want to run far away. BUT God, lovingly placed us in a place where realness is understood. Finally, I see it-I get it. How wonderful it is to be honest and free! Love You
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