Performing For An Audience Of One...

Well, my journey is almost over, and I'd like to thank you all for hanging in there with me. As I said at the beginning, God taught me a lot while on vacation...I guess He had to get me that far from home to get my attention:-)

On Saturday, we went exploring. I poured over maps of the area and found beaches and ocean access points and fun stuff to check out. We were on an adventure, and I wasn't going to let anything slow me down.

The night before was our night on Glass Beach, with the big rocks to climb over. I had stopped exploring because fear took hold, and after sleeping on it, I was fed up with fear. I was going back to that beach and I was going to kick fear in the can!!

But first, I wanted to see some other sights...one of which was the Point Cabrillo Lighthouse. We stopped first at Caspar Beach and had a good time. Then it was up the winding road to the Point.

We parked in the designated parking lot, and began a 1/2 mile hike to the lighthouse. A half a mile? No worries...I used to walk a mile every day as exercise. I could handle a half there and a half back.

Ummm...did I mention it was downhill? A steep downhill slope? Which means...everybody say it with me...what goes down must come...

UP!!

Plus, we were a couple thousand feet higher up than normal...and did I mention all that walking I did was a couple of years ago??

The walk down was fine. We toured the lighthouse, talked to the lighthouse keeper, and purchase a few souvenirs. Then it was time to go back up the hill.

The first few yards were fine. I was winded, didn't feel like chatting, but Dave kept up a steady stream of wisecracks and jokes. I grinned now and then, and took a sip or two of water.

Then we hit the steepest grade about halfway back up the hill. I measured my breathing, kept swinging my arms, and concentrated on the top of the hill. About half way up, Dave pointed out a bench and told me to rest awhile.

I shook my head. This hill wasn't going to get the best of me. And I wasn't going to wuss out and rest...I had a point to make. I was going to make this hike, and I wasn't going to whine and complain about it. It was my choice to go, and I was going to succeed if it killed me.

It almost did. By the time we made it up the hill, I was seeing spots, my face was beet red, and I couldn't catch my breath. I made it back to the car on shaking limbs, calling myself all kinds of stupid.

Turning the a/c on high, I gulped down air and thought, "What in the wide, wide world of sports were you trying to prove, woman???" Who in the world cared if I made it all the way to the top without stopping?? No one but...

...me.

I didn't impress anyone. I didn't make a mark on society. I didn't leave a legacy. I just did something incredibly stupid, for nothing.

And I realized that was how I lived most of my life.

I blog, trying to be funny like so and so, or to be impressive for such and such blogger award...I cut up to make people laugh and I try to say neat things so people will keep me around...

And end up feeling foolish and pointless.

But when I let the Spirit of God rush through me, when I step back and let Him take over...when I turn me off and turn Him on...oh, it totally rocks my world!

I got more joy over timidly clambering over the rocks on Glass Beach than I did by pretending to be Xena, Warrior Princess...and my stupid stunt cost me precious time on Glass Beach that night...it took me all night to recover from that hike.

So, while I love making people laugh, and I love my wacky sense of humor...while I love the deep thoughts God gives me and I love sharing my ideas with others...I'm going to work very hard on only impressing the One who sees all...and that's not too hard to do...

'Cause I hear He already thinks I'm pretty nifty keen!

Be blessed, and don't knock yourself out to impress me...I love ya no matter what you do!!

Deena

P.S. There's a little more I learned...so maybe one more post. Hope you can hang in for a bit longer:-)