Some people are naturally optimistic. They are naturally upbeat, positive, and cheerful. Natural perks, they are.
And they get on my nerves:-)
Just kidding!
Sort of.
Seriously, sometimes I want to go to God and ask Him, "Why didn't you give me the perky gene? I mean, when people ask me, 'Is the glass half full or half empty?', I wanna yell 'Ok, who drank my Diet Pepsi??' and deck somebody!
"Don't You realize how I would have totally ROCKED for You if only You had made me a cheerful kinda gal? It's not easy being green, but it totally stinks being gray!
Why couldn't you have made me more like Pooh or Owl or Kanga, instead of a cross between Eeyore and Rabbit??"
I said I WANNA talk to God about it...but I read Job...and I may be moody, but I'm NOT dumb!!
I struggle to live by Philippians 4:8. My translation tends to read, "Whatever is wrong, whatever is stinky, whatever is negative, whatever is sucky, whatever is of gloom and doom, of a raw deal and painful...think on THESE things."
Not a happy camper, I'm not, I'm not.
But I wanna be. I wanna be able to love the sinner and hate the sin, no problemo. I wanna be able to pray through in faith and believing, going through life with "Praise The Lord!" naturally on my lips.
I don't wanna be the kind of person who finds it painful some days just to smile. I hate that about myself.
And yet, I do believe, deep down. And I've been told when you're in a struggle, I'm a person to have on your team. I can pray like nobody's business for people...just not for myself.
I'm critical; I can be harsh, and I can be distant. And I am oh, so very negative!
So I wonder...Why didn't He give me the cheerful DNA strand? I mean, I would have totally ROCKED as a cheerleader...instead of being a melancholy baby...
**sigh**...oh well, at least I'm YOUR melacholy baby...right, God??
Be blessed, and be a blessing!
Deena
3 comments:
Oh, I can soooooooo relate with you.
Do you ever look at perky people and think they are total fakes because no one could ever be that perky for real? I'll admit I get annoyed because it is completely foreign to me. (At the same time, I wish I was more perky.)
I don't think I lack compassion, but I've told people before that I am not a friendly person. And definitely not "perky."
If I had a dollar for every time that someone said, SMILE! Let's just say we could all meet in the Bahamas and I would pay. :)
I tend to be a little sarcastic in my humor--and I get so drained by my people contact.
I am a realist---let's talk truth--put forth what it is. Then we can deal.
I guess joy looks different on different people.
I love your sense of humor, you always make me smile, always!!!
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