Seven Days Makes One Weak (previously posted on MySpace)

(Previously posted on MySpace Blog January 7, 2007--just in case some of you feel "deja vu"!!)

Maybe you've heard this saying--"Seven days without the Word make a Christian weak." Maybe you haven't heard it.

But I'm here to tell you it's TRUE.

I set these ridiculously stupid goals for myself. Last January, I got on a kick to see if I could read the entire Bible in one month. I did it. woohoo.
Then I did something even more incredibly ridiculous. I thought that was good enough. After all, my husband and I try to read through the Bible in one year, and I just did it in one month.

So, I'm good.

Not quite. I found myself floundering a lot last year. Not sure which way to go. Making bad judgment calls. Feeling more angry than usual. Getting depressed and staying there longer than I should have. Negative thinking saturated my life.

Then, my mom died.

I spiraled down, trying to keep up a happy front for my family and for my church. But I got snappy. I got even more short-tempered. I didn't like myself at all.

How was my prayer life, you ask? Oh, it was there. But it was mostly, How could you do this, God? Why did this happen, God? Why can't I come home, God? I prayed faithfully for others, with diligence and in power.

But for myself?

Nope.

Finally, Christmas came, and I struggled through it on my own. Some knew, some guessed and everybody prayed. But I didn't let on. Until after the holiday was over.

Then I crashed and burned.

Big time.

God said, "Deena, sweetie, it's time to come clean. You're a mess. Let your family (church) know. Then step out of ministry for awhile and let's get things straightened out."

I began reading my Bible daily again on January 1, 2007. I began my daily devotional reading. A book I THOUGHT I had found on accident proved to be God's providence in my life (if you want to know what the book is called--you'll have to email or message me).

I decided to step down from leading worship at my church. I chose to confess to my women's fellowship some of my personal struggles (hey, I'm working on it!). I leaned on my husband for prayer and strength.

And guess what?

I have begun to heal. Slowly, painfully, I am healing inside. The broken, bleeding places are slowly being soothed by the washing of the word of God. I am feeling nourished again. I'm taking it slow, not wanting to glut, but hungry again for the first time in so long

.
My smile feels more natural, not as forced. No fake facades to hide behind. No pretending everything is ok. And people are being drawn to the real-ness...they like seeing the mess, not because it's pretty, but because they feel safe. They know I get it, and they know I won't judge.

So, back to my original quote. All of this began because I neglected my spiritual food source. I stopped reading, and I began dying. More than seven days...more like 334 days...I became a spiritual invalid.

Notice that word...kinda looks like in-valid. But God is faithful. He never leaves, never forsakes, never abandons. He waited for me to cry out in surrender and to be real.

Read your Bible, dear friends.

Never mind if you are in ministry.

Read your Bible.

Never mind if you've been there, done that.

Read your Bible.

Never mind if you don't wanna.

Read your Bible.

Never mind if you're a pastor, Sunday school teacher, Bible study leader...I led Bible study from August of last year, taught Sunday school all year, and I'm a pastor's wife.

Trust me...Read your Bible.

As I said, I'm healing. But it's just begun. The journey back from where I've been is long, and it will be hard. Sometimes two steps forward, one step back (or three!).

But with God's word feeding my soul...I'll be strong enough in Him to make it.

Hope this helps someone.

Be blessed, and be a blessing (I know you all have been one to ME),

Deena

Tools For Transformation

On page 19 of our study book, Joanne lists 6 tools for transformation. Which one have you found transforming in your life? And which one do you need to pick up and use more often for more of a transformation? Do you think we can truly have transformation without using the entire toolchest?

For me, the quiet time is a definite must. I can tell within days of not reading my Bible--something not so good happens inside of me...and the reverse is true as well. A few days being back in the word and I feel stronger and healthier...for more info on this, see my next blog (previously posted at MySpace).

Altar-ing My Ego is the most difficult for me. Not because I think I'm anything special, but because I don't...it's a twisted logic, but because I struggle with self acceptance I tend to need "positive reinforcement" from others...to know I've done a good job...and then the whole humility battle begins...it's complicated...

Personally, I don't think true and complete transformation can occur without the entire toolbox...developing a quiet time (I know, I know...that one gets harped on a lot, but it's because it's true...so true), memorizing Scripture--and you'll be amazed at just how much Scripture you really know, listening to others, journaling the journey, gathering with the Body, and altar-ing my ego.

Possibly journaling the journey might be let go, but I've found that writing out my worries, thoughts, inspirations and concerns gives me a clearer head and less cluttered heart...but that's me...

How about YOU??

Notice me...please...

Can't sleep, so thought I'd post.....

Why would a person go on national television and claim they have talent, only to be shot down by three tempermental judges?

Why would a couple go on a television talk show and discuss their dysfunction as a family?

Why would a well-known celebrity continue to party even when claiming to be tired of the tabloid press?

Why would a middle-aged mother of 6 (3 step-children) post an on-line journal for the entire internet world to read?

Three words.....

To be noticed.

We all crave to be noticed. Our souls cry out "Someone, anyone, notice me! I need to know I matter!" And we will seek attention from whatever venue we deem acceptable. The greater our need for meaning in our lives, the greater the attempts to get it.

Last Sunday, a wise man spoke about our destiny as children of God. That we are to be a reflection of Him in our regular, everyday lives. We were created for and with a need for purpose.

Maybe if we perform for an audience of One, the tabloid press will cease to exist, reality talent shows will become a thing of the past, and talk shows will evolve into game shows, which are far more entertaining anyway (can't you see Oprah hosting "Win, Lose or Draw"?).

Of course, this middle-aged mom of 6 (3 step-children) will continue to post an on-line journal...not to be noticed...but so that He will be noticed.

Paid any attention to God lately??

Be blessed, and then go out and notice someone's need and be a blessing to them.

Deena

Going, going, gone.......

Ok, Sunday, I was under the "whether"...today, I'm under the weather. So I won't post much...but this got me thinking...

We push ourselves to the brink of exhaustion...getting little sleep in order to accomplish all that's on our "to-do" list. Up early to cover all we missed out on last night.

We squeeze in a quick daily Bible reading, but don't realize what we read. We rush here and there, doing for everyone...

Illnesses are on the rise among women. Auto-immune disorders are increasing: chronic fatigue, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, mystery illnesses. We are tired, and we don't stop.

Why is this? What is driving us? Scripture says, "Come, my yoke is easy and my burden is light." "Be still and know that I Am God." And yet we are like wannabe Energizer bunnies...we keep going and going and going...

Until we are gone. These last two days have been sit on the couch days...sick, fever, cough, achy everything. But just before that it was another whirlwind weekend.

And have you ever noticed that the women who are on every committee, involved in several ministries, and always available for anything and everything are the ones who get praised? I knew a woman who went to work, eyes glazed with fever and in constant pain, and the staff admired her committment to the job.

She ended up in the hospital and on bed rest for nearly 3 months.

So, I'm going to continue to take it easy, shushing the guilt that rears its head, telling me, "Hey, you're home...you could be [fill in the blank]." Instead, I'm going to get well, and then pay more attention to my schedule...work to make it less frantic and more fulfilling.

How about you?

Be blessed today. That's enough for now.
Deena

The Emperor Has No Clothes............

Many years ago there lived an emperor who was quite an average fairy tale ruler, with one exception: he cared much about his clothes. One day he heard from two swindlers named Guido and Luigi Farabutto that they could make the finest suit of clothes from the most beautiful cloth. This cloth, they said, also had the special capability that it was invisible to anyone who was either stupid or not fit for his position.

Being a bit nervous about whether he himself would be able to see the cloth, the emperor first sent two of his trusted men to see it. Of course, neither would admit that they could not see the cloth and so praised it. All the townspeople had also heard of the cloth and were interested to learn how stupid their neighbors were.

The emperor then allowed himself to be dressed in the clothes for a procession through town, never admitting that he was too unfit and stupid to see what he was wearing. For he was afraid that the other people would think that he was stupid.

Of course, all the townspeople wildly praised the magnificent clothes of the emperor, afraid to admit that they could not see them, until a small child said:

"But he has nothing on!"

This was whispered from person to person until everyone in the crowd was shouting that the emperor had nothing on. The emperor heard it and felt that they were correct, but held his head high and finished the procession.

Why did I post this, you may be asking?

The answer is simple...

When it comes to the church, it's time to admit, "The emperor has no clothes." And for some reason, I'm the one to admit it.

We sing songs at church like "It Is Well With My Soul", when, quite frankly, sometimes it's not. Or "I Surrender All", when we know we are struggling in a secret area. How about "What A Friend We Have In Jesus," when right now we feel like He is a distant cousin?

What in the world makes us think we can get into these positions and get ourselves out on our own. "Oh, I'm not on my own...God is with me!" And He might just want to use the church family to help get us out.

So, try this on for size...we, the church, are the emperor. Satan has convinced us we are "dressed for success", but the world has declared, "Hey, you aren't wearing any clothes!" It's time to take off our own righteousness of the perfect family, the perfect faith, the perfect worship experience, the perfect response to trials and tribulations...and admit, we don't have it all together. Don't expect me to. This life is messy, and I'm a saved sinner on my road to maturity. I may fall in a mud puddle from time to time, trip and skin myself on the rocks of life's path, and even tumble into a ditch.

I need to be clothed in Jesus' righteousness. I need to allow Him to put on me the garment of praise...and He may need to pry me out of my oh so comfortable jeans of self-pity, 'cause they fit like a second skin and are mine, oh mine...but when He dresses you, you feel like a princess (or prince).

I'm crying out, "The emperor has no clothes!" and waiting for my Heavenly Tailor to come and take care of the situation...I'm a mess, but I'm His........

Hoping not to offend,
Deena

A Little Under The Whether...

Greetings...

I'm not sure how much I'll post today...you see, I'm a little under the whether.

I know several people like me (hopefully there's more than just a few of us) who are all too often under the whether...

You know, "whether" your day has gone well, "whether" your kids are happy, "whether" that cute guy asked you out (mine married me:-), "whether" God answered that prayer the way you'd hoped...those kind of "whethers".

Scripture says in James that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. I get that now. We can't afford to be blown about by circumstances, deciding "whether " or not to serve God today or to serve ourselves. Deciding "whether" or not to love others today or to "just have one of those days".

I am a passionate soul. I feel very deeply. Which is a plus, because it's easy for me to empathize with others. But it can be a very big minus because it leaves me vulnerable to being emotion-driven...which I am, far too often.

Today was an "under the whether" day for me...and it cost me a wonderful worship experience today. Fortunately, God has a way with me like no other:-), and He had His way...I am getting quicker at responding, but not quite quick enough.

So, pray for me. I really am tired of being under the "whether". And the quicksand gets rather thick when I'm like that. I'm counting on sisters like you to help pray me to solid ground again! And I'll do the same for you.

Be blessed, and be a blessing..."whether" or not you want to...hey, if I have to, YOU have to:-)

Deena

Question Four, Week Four, January 28-February 3, 2007

What realities does the following Scripture say humans tend to whitewash and what is the actual truth?

Matthew 23:25 Woe unto you, scribes and pharisees, hypocrites! for you make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but inside they are full of extortion and excess.

Okay, here we go. I loved it when she shared about the white washed tombs, didn't you?? That was a picture perfect image of what we tend to do! For those who haven't read the chapters, the Jews would paint the tombs a bright, white wash. That way, they wouldn't accidentally stumble upon the grave and become ceremonially unclean. But inside were dead bones, decayed and ick...

Don't we do the same thing? We paint things in bright white paint to warn our kids and others "don't touch, don't handle" or you might become unclean and unfit for......for what? And yet inside we are full of anger, jealousy, envy, bitterness, hatred, dissatisfaction...etc.

So what if we don't go to "R" rated movies if we are jealous because Susie has a better husband, and if we'd only married better, we'd do better...

So what if we don't read "those books" if we are rebellious toward what God wants us to do for Him...

Am I all wet here??

The Novelist

I closed the cover of the book with a sigh. So much of the storyline just didn't make sense to me.
So, I did what I usually did--I went to the author.

"Hi," I said. "Do you mind if I chat with you for a bit?"

"No, not at all," he said, gesturing for me to pull out a chair. "What's on your mind?"

"I finished the book," I announced.

"And did you enjoy it?" he asked.
"I think so, but I'm not sure. I have a few questions. Do you mind?"

"Not at all," he assured me. "Ask away."

"Why did you give the girl in the story such a flawed personality?" I asked hesitantly--I mean, after all, I was taking to task an established author here. "I mean, couldn't you have at least made her brilliant, beautiful, or highly skilled?"

"But didn't you find her easy to relate to? To identify with?" he countered thoughtfully.

"Hmm, now that you mention it, she did seem very approachable. She was so ordinary, I felt comfortable with her, like I knew her from somewhere." I nodded my understanding. However, killing off her main character..."

"You didn't like that, huh?" he asked with a slight smile.

"No, I didn't. It came from out of no where, and it left her hanging...and, come on, you control what goes on. Couldn't you have re-written that?"

"I suppose I could have. Did I mention that I have a sequel planned for our young heroine, in which she herself is the main character?"

"Really?"

"Yes, although only you and I know that. If you thinkg about it, she wouldn't have had the development needed to support her own storyline, had she not endured that loss."

I nodded again. "Yes, I can see that. It's just...well, I just don't understand...YOU control the pen. Why let all of these things happen?"

"It's true," he agreed, "I do control the pen. But I have a storyline mapped out for each of my characters, long before I create them. Sometimes, in the course of the novel, certain events must take place in order for them to develop the character qualities the storyline requires."

"Ok, I'll grant you that, but can't you change the storyline?"

"I do at times, when I see that the character is choosing a slightly different path. You see, my dear, at times these characters choose to write themselves. With my guidance still there, of course," he chuckled.

"Does any of it catch you by surprise?" I asked, considering his wise words.

"Oh, no. Even when they choose to stray from my preferred storyline, I can still see where it is going and I anticipate each change, because ultimately, it is all incorporated into the master story."

"So, she's getting a novel of her own, huh?" I reflected, with a smile.

He nodded, and I thanked him for his time.

I still wasn't happy about the events that took place in the story, but I could see them all in the bigger scheme of things, and was assured that the Author was still in control, seeing events that I could not foresee.

"Looking unto Jesus, the AUTHOR and FINISHER of our faith: who, for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God," Hebrews 12:2.

Any events in your life puzzling? Disturbing? Your story's not done yet...consult the Master Storyteller. Trust Him to finish out the story of your life...

Be blessed, and be a blessing in the story of someone else's life,

Deena

New Study begins next Saturday!!

Hello everyone!

Hopefully you've had the chance to get a copy of our new Bible study book, "Having a Mary Heart" by Joanne Weaver. We begin our discussion at our women's fellowship next Saturday. If you are in the Loma Rica, California area, we start at 10 AM at Loma Rica Baptist Church on Hill Road. If you are in the cyber-world...I'll be posting comments with the group's permission later that afternoon to share with you.

If you haven't purchased the book or would rather not do the study with us...no worries! Just keep hanging out with us here. We enjoy the company, and believe you'll always walk away with something.

Just for your information, I'm the pastor's wife at Loma Rica Baptist Church in Loma Rica (Marysville), California, and small hill community in Northern California. My husband, Pastor Dave, and our family have been there for around 3 years. Wholly Devoted began last August and we've been going and growing ever since!

I'm the study facilitator...some call me a leader, but I prefer facilitator....sounds WAY more important LOL!! But I just guide people to the wonderful truth that is in Scripture, and to read way cool books! I learn just as much if not more from these wonderful women God allows me to study with.

So, having said all of that, I'll be posting our new discussion question tomorrow, and I'm cooking up a new blog entry that MAY be posted later today. So stop back by...you might find something new!!

Be blessed, and then be a blessing!
Deena

No Cash Accepted--A Bonus Blog for you today!!

A man walks up to the check out of a small store and puts his items on the counter. The clerk smiles, and then begins to ring the items up, making small talk as he works. Finally the total is reached and the clerk waits to complete the transaction.

“Hmmm,” the man ponders, “I don’t know if I have that much cash on me.”

“Oh, we don’t take cash here,” the clerk tells him with a smile.

“You don’t take cash here?” asks the man, bewildered. “What kind of store it this?”

“Well, it’s one of a kind, I can tell you that,” chuckles the clerk.

“Then I guess I’ll have to write a check,” the man announces, pulling out his checkbook.

The clerk shakes his head. “I’m sorry sir, but you won’t have enough in your checkbook to cover these items.”

“And how would you know that?” the man asks, getting irritated.

“No one does,” the clerk replies with a smile.

“Then I’ll use my credit card,” the man insists, pulling out his plastic and handing it to the clerk.

The clerk shrugs, runs the card, and then says, “It’s been declined as well.”

“What!” the man exclaims. “I have a $50,000.00 credit limit on that account.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but that’s not enough either.” The clerk looks at the total again, and then says, “Let me go and speak with my manager.” He leaves the register and goes into the back room. The man stands there, small beads of sweat breaking out on his upper lip. He has to have these items; there’s got to be a way.

Finally the clerk comes back with a piece of paper covered in red ink. “Here you go sir. My manager said to tell you that it’s taken care of. Just take this and be on your way,” the clerk said with a wide grin, bagging up the man’s items.

The man reaches for the paper, and then asks, “What is this?”

“Oh, it’s a notarized form that says your account’s taken care of.”

“By whom?” the man asked, puzzled.

“The manager, of course,” the clerk answered with one eyebrow raised in surprise.

“Oh, no,” the man said, handing back the paper. “I don’t believe in charity. Tell the manager I’ll find a way to pay for this stuff.”

“Sir, it’s not charity. Please, accept it and take your things,” the clerk urged the man. He held out the bag, refusing to take the paper back from the man.

“No. I was taught that a man pays his own way in life and that’s the way I’m going to do it,” the man announced, dropping the paper on the counter and crossing his arms.

“Sir, you don’t have enough cash, and we don’t accept it here anyway. Your checking account doesn’t hold enough funds, and your credit is based on someone else’s work, not your own. You really don’t have any other choice.”

The man sighed heavily, and then shook his head. “Then I guess I’ll either have to find another store that takes my money, or go without.”

“Now, you know you can’t go without these things, sir. And there isn't another store that carries these items." The clerk finally lost his grin, and his face took on a concerned look.

"That store down the road looks good to me," the man protested. "I have lots of friends who buys these things there."

"But they aren't the genuine article. You want only the best, the real deal.”

The man thought about it, looked at the paper again, and said, “I think it’s unreasonable that you won’t let me pay for this myself. Why should I take someone else’s payment for this? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Sir, when you really think about it, it makes perfect sense,” the clerk assured him. “It’s not charity, sir, its grace.”

“Not to me,” the man said, and he turned away, leaving his forgiveness, eternal life, and peace of mind behind, along with the paper that held a cross and the written words, in blood, “PAID IN FULL.”

Trust me, if you’re looking to anything else to save you, it’s pointless. The answer is Jesus and the price He paid on your behalf. Don’t try to get into heaven on your good deeds, your family heritage, or someone else’s opinion. Just trust in Jesus. It’s grace, freely given, to you and to me.

Be blessed, and be a blessing,
Deena

Getting In Shape

I just had to let you all know about my new exercise program!

I'm getting the best cardiac workout of my life these days!

And it takes such little effort...you might want to check it out.

Each day I do one or more of the following exercises, sometimes more than once:

1) Jump to conclusions

2) Jump through hoops

3) Carry a grudge (this one really gets your heart pumping, because they vary so much in weight, but all are pretty heavy!)

4) Twist in the wind--usually follows #1, but can be done all by itself

5) And my personal favorite---Bending over backwards

Now, hopefully you know by now that this is tongue in cheek, but seriously, these things will give you a good cardiac workout. Just not the one recommended by the American Heart Association!

Think about it...anger, stress, frustration, anxiety, fear...they all cause our hearts to race and our blood to pound, subjecting our body to forces we were not meant to endure.

All because we have to be in control, or we let someone else control us. So, even though my workout is effective, it isn't productive.

I think I might try something a little easier...

Like leaning on the Everlasting Arms...whaddaya think??

Be blessed, and be a blessing!
Deena

P.S. Could someone help me with my budget? I'm always borrowing trouble............

Took a tumble yesterday...

Yes, it's true.

I fell yesterday.

It hurt.

I felt stupid.

I didn't want anyone to know.

So, why am I telling the cyberworld? Because I want to make a point. I just don't know what it is...I'm kidding!

My point is this: why do we hide it from each other when we hurt? This ties back into our recent topic of being real and not being performance-addicts any longer.

It's not always about doing more for approval. Sometimes it's about hiding for approval. If you know my marriage is suffering, you'll think less of me. If you know my kids are a mess, you'll talk about me. If you know I struggle with a particular sin, I'll become your project. If you know I fell, you'll laugh and make jokes about me.

Any of those sound familiar (the last one is mine!)? We've all been there, done that, bought the t-shirt...opened our hearts and wished we hadn't. But we are told in Galatians to "Bear one another's burdens," (6:2). How can we help bear what others refuse to unload?

I'm the guiltiest party here. I was told by my sister recently not to act like I had it all together, because it drives people away. It does the exact opposite of what I thought.

Openness draws people in. Closed means stay away. If we're going to attract people to Christ, they have to see why we need Him. If we're ever going to carry one another's burdens, we have to share ours.

On the flip side of this, carrying one another's burdens doesn't mean solve them, heal them, fix them, discuss them, make fun of them, or mock them...it means what it says...CARRY THEM. There's nothing that feels worse than sharing a burden and then becoming someone's fix-it project...unless it's having your weight made lite of (no pun intended...!).

So, can we agree to share, to carry, and to work out or responses to one another?? Can we actually fulfill Galatians 6:2? Let's try...Me first...

I fell down yesterday. Hurt both knees and my lower back (which had surgery 1 1/2 years ago). Felt stupid, but now just feel pain. My apologies to my church family for keeping this from you. Forgive me.

And you...........??

Be blessed, and be a blessing!
Deena

A Brief Explanation...

For those new to our blog, this is a part of our women's fellowship at Loma Rica Baptist Church in California. We are beginning a new Bible study on February 3 called "Having A Mary Spirit" by Joanne Weaver. We meet here to read portions of the book, answer questions, and talk about our lives (at least, that's what we intend to do).

But, you don't have to leave...we like having you here. And you don't have to buy the book (although it is a wonderful book!) to participate. If you read something that sparks a thought, feel free to share.

You don't even have to share...just hang around with us for awhile. Enjoy the fellowship...breathe deep of His Spirit...and then go out and share with someone.

That was just a little bit of housekeeping...now, on to the good stuff...In other words... there's a new post right under this one, so enjoy!

Deena

Deadlines...

In our study book, Joanne Weaver writes that she once prayed, "Lord, make me perfect by the time I'm thirty." Later on she admits, "I don't know how I missed this amazing and important reality. I was raised in a grace-filled home and a grace-filled church. But, as a young adult, I somehow fell for the lie that when I accepted Jesus as my Savior, the rest was up to me."

Now, I thought I would have it all together by now (I'm over 30:-). But I don't. At least, if I did, then I've forgotten where I put it, and I have to start all over !! I did NOT grow up in a grace-filled church, and while Mom's name was Grace, Dad's name was Justice.

So, I fell into the performance trap very early in life. Even when I know grace abounds, I still feel the need to perform. It's as if I can accept that it's freely given, but I have to earn the right to keep it.

And I don't know about the rest of the performance-aholics out there, but I seem to be drawn to those who expect me to do a certain thing or be a certain way before I feel a drop of their grace. It's like an invisible pull...I've even asked my husband to inspect me for tatoos that say, "Will perform for love and acceptance." (He didn't find any!)

But, there's hope. I'm getting there. I can finally rest assured that God will never love me any more than He did that day on the cross. That His love is infinite and immeasurable, and it is mine, all mine, since the day I believed (actually, BEFORE I believed...but that's getting off topic!). And I am secure in that.

When it comes to people...well, that's a whole 'nuther story...and sometimes I get the two tangled up together.

I suppose that's reason #2,002 why I'm married to the wonderful guy I am.

He models God's love to me.

When I get tangled up in other people's expectations, real or imagined, and then get tangled between what God wants and what people want...he gently assists me in getting unraveled--no, wait, I usually COME unraveled...so I guess he RE-ravels me....

Anyhoo, you get my point, don't you?? Golly, I sure hope so! Bottom line is this: "No matter how fast I paddled, no matter how hard I tried to keep my head above water, my efforts were never enough." But God's are. He did it all on Calvary. We just need to Have a Mary Spirit and rest at His feet.

Keith Green said it best for me: "Just keep doing your best, and pray that it's blessed, and He'll take care of the rest."

Any thoughts???

Why Do We Do The Things We Do???

This oughta generate some heat!

Why do we, especially women, feel the need to be more? What is it that we do to one another that feeds that need? There has to be something driving us...I mean besides the internal. What is that external force we cannot seem to shut off in order to just be what God wants us to be?

For me, it's the continuous feeling of being left out. I was a pudgy, awkward child. I never got picked to be on teams, to play pretend...I like to quote one of my favorite comedians: "I had an imaginary friend, and even SHE wouldn't play with me!"

Nothing intimidates me more than to be involved in a project or a ministry, and to hear a conversation about it that doesn't include me. Or to feel like everyone knows but me. So, I strive to be more informed, more involved, more active, more visible...and wear myself out. And I still walk away, head down, feeling left out.

Maybe that is why I work so hard at making sure people feel included. I'm not perfect at it, but it pierces me when I hear a woman say, "I just don't feel like I belong." I know that feeling. That feeling and I are good buddies. I have it on speed dial.

So, what can we do differently as sisters in Christ? Any thoughts??

Tell Me The Truth

"Sometimes, when I say "I'm fine", I want someone to look me in the eye and say, "Tell me the truth."

I read that quote on someone else's blog (thanks sweetie!)

Here's my question: do we, as believers, ask people how they are and then move on so quickly we never really know? Do we look them in the eye to see through to their souls?

And before you say, "Oh, that's impossible!", let me tell you about this sweet lady in our church. Every week, she hugs me tightly, asks me how my week went, and then pulls back a little, looks me in the eye, and then tells me what I was reluctant to share out loud.

She pretty much nails me every time. And you know what? I love her for it! She gives me the freedom to be me, and that is a rare, rare gift, my friends, especially for someone in ministry. Too often we are tempted, sometimes forced, to hide our hurting, bruised or bleedings selves for the sake of "the church" or "the ministry", or so we won't cause someone to stumble.

In the meantime, we suffer alone in silence, and we become weak and unable to defend ourselves against attacks from the enemy. Praise God for those people in the body of Christ who look us in the eye and say, "Tell me the truth" in love and compassion. That takes guts. It's taking a risk. It's sticking your neck out and taking a chance on getting it chopped off. And sometimes, honestly, you get more than you bargain for with some people:-)

But, to someone like me who has a difficult time sharing, it's a lifeline. And as believers, we of all people should be the ones looking people in the eye and finding out how they "really" are. This life is short. Eternity is coming for everyone. The world needs to know we genuinely care...they are looking for someone to really, really care.

And the church is hurting. We've played pretend for so long, some of us don't know what it means to share our burdens. People ask us and we automatically do our best Jack Nicholson impression : "You can't HANDLE the truth!" A good long look in the eye would probably help out a lot! So....

What do you say on this topic? Come on, share....

Be blessed, and be a blessing!
Deena

P.S. If you like what you read here, check out my personal blog at
http://blog.myspace.com/in_a_daze_today
Come on...you know you wanna!!!

Another discussion starter...

Once you've had a chance to answer the posted questions below, consider this: "I've always dreamed of being much more than I am." This is the opening line of chapter one in our book.

What "more" have you dreamed of becoming? Where do you feel the lack in your life?

For me, it's complicated...again, no surprise there for those who know me!! I long to be more diligent, more of a housekeeper, and more of a patient mom. I've always dreamed of being a more spiritual example of a child of God.

But I'm cranky and moody. I doubt and I struggle to trust God's best for my life. I'm short-tempered at times and I hate waiting for things. I love God's Word, but get so easily distracted by other things, and the next thing I know I've forgotten to read the Word the last two days!!

Still, I've had many, many Godly friends tell me that we are all works in progress...the key is progress! We move forward, one step at a time...sometimes progress is slow. So slow we miss it if we blink! But then one day we look at where we were, and where we are now, and we are amazed at what God has done in our lives!!

I've greatly changed in just the last 5 years in my faith, thanks to some very dear Sisters in Christ (you know who you are:-). We need one another, to keep us making progress, to support us when we falter, and to give us those nudges down life's path to God's perfection in our lives.

Wow, that was long-winded!! Now, it's your turn...tell me what you think. Go back and re-read the question, since I took so long...I'll wait here for you:-)

Be blessed, my dear sisters, and be a blessing to someone...you never know how God will use you!!

Question 3, Week 3, January 21-28, 2007

How do you view God? As up in the sky with a holy fly swatter, waiting for you to make a mistake? As loving, but detached and distant from what is going on in your life? Or actively involved in your life, wanting to help you succeed?

For me, it's a little mixed up--oh, like THAT is surprising to anyone!! But depending on the day, or what event is going on in my life, I tend to bounce between loving but detached and actively involved. My head knows the last one is the truth, but sometimes my heart fools me into believing He loves me, but just doesn't have time for little old me and my feeble woes.
Now, there was a time in my life that I believed in the fly-swatter holding God. I was almost TRAINED to believe that by the church I grew up in. They never quite came out and said it, but they definitely implied it. And that will squish the joy out of anyone!
Thank God He set me free from that mindset. I think I bounce around because God being detached is just a step away from the fly-swatter...and the familiar just keeps calling out to me.

If you're new to this blog, let me assure you that God is ACTIVELY involved in your life, desperately LOVES you enough to die for you, and WANTS you to succeed, not for your glory, but for His glory. As Max Lucado once said, "If God had a fridge in Heaven, your picture would be on it!!"

Do me a favor...if you have no CLUE what I'm talking about, e-mail me at thedeena63@hotmail.com, and let me share the God of the Bible with you. Believe me, He's crazy about you!!

Be blessed, and be a blessing!
Deena

Book Review: The Cubicle Next Door

This is again off topic and unusual, but I feel so passionate about this, I have to share:

Usually, once I've tried an author and not been pleased, I give up. But this book kept catching my eye, so finally I gave into the appeal of the cover and indulged.
I'm SO glad I did!
"I wasn't crazy about sharing my office space with anyone...and then I met Joe." That's how "The Cubicle Next Door" by Siri Mitchell begins. And the journey is an exhausting one, but so worthwhile.
Jackie Harrison is a civilian who works as a computer analyst. She ends up having to share her cubicle with Lt. Col. Joseph Gallagher. And her life turns upside down.
It is not only the sweetest courtship I've ever read, but I felt a kinship with Jackie that just pierced my heart. She is so real, it's almost as if I could talk with her myself.
The feature of the story is Jackie's secret internet blog (what? how unique!!:-). She posts her feelings about Joe, but does so anonymously, as "The Cubicle Next Door."
What follows her postings is hilarious, endearing and heartwrenching. This was one of those novels that I could not wait to finish, and yet was so sad when it ended. Jackie's journey is one I myself have taken in a way.
You'll have to read the novel to understand. To share more ruins the mystery of Jackie's journey. Believe me, it's a beautiful one. You'll long for a Joe in your own life...me? I already have one...and THAT is a beautiful thing indeed.
Get this book. Read it. Share it with a girlfriend, sister, mom, any woman you know who longs to be loved but something holds her back.
I have to go and email Siri Mitchell and let her know I want more from Jackie and Joe!!
Thanks, Siri, for sharing with all of us!
Deena

Stumbling Blocks, Be Gone!!

Today was a wonderful day. I spent it with my oldest sister. We shopped, we gabbed, we ate lunch, we gabbed, we laughed, we shared our hearts, and we split sweet rolls from Costco!
So, why am I sharing all of this?
Because I never really knew my sister until 5 months ago. Oh, I knew her name, where she lived, who she was married (or not) to, her kids, where she worked, where she went to church...all of the basic know about someone stuff when you're related.
But I never really "knew" her. And she never really knew me. We grew up separated by 16 years, a lot of family skeletons that were "not discussed", and a lot more baggage with a capital B.
What changed all of that?
Our mom died.
And now, we spend time together. Before, we spent time with Mom, and most of it was her and Mom and then me and Mom. Rarely was it the three of us. It would take too long to explain it all, and it really isn't important.
What is important is this: we have worked together as a team to remove all the stumbling blocks to our relationship as sisters and as sisters in Christ. We have covenanted together to spend a sister's day out once a month, just hanging out together. We have committed to call and check on one another, to be honest with one another, and that anything goes with questions, answers, and challenges, as long as all is done in love.
What makes me sad is it took losing our mom before we realized what we were allowing life to do to us. We never really walked in victory, apart or together. We never reached across the divide that was our family. And we even lived in the same town for most of our lives, yet never spent time together alone, as sisters.
So...who are you longing to get to know? What is in your way? What holds you back? What will have to happen before you step out in faith, trust God for the best and see what can happen?
Don't wait until someone dies before it happens. Don't wait for tragedy to strike. Don't let the forces of life's struggles force the issue. Don't wait.
Reach out. In love. In prayer. In humility. In faith.
You never know what you will find. You just might find your new best friend...
I know I did. I just wish Mom could have experienced it with us...but she knows:-)
Be blessed, and be a blessing...especially where it isn't expected!!
Deena
P.S. In case you were wondering...you can have more than one best friend in life...I know, I have several...it's in the handbook, trust me!!

This is a little off topic, but I feel it is important to share with those who read my blogs...so here goes!


Picture two students in a math class, sitting side by side. One knows math well, the other is struggling through the class, not sure how to do it or what it all really means.
The skilled student looks over at the other one's homework and says, "Hey, dude...9 x 3 is 27, not 14."

"You sure about that?" he asks, concerned about getting it right.

"Positive! I learned all of these when I was just a little kid, and facts is facts!"
Poised to make his correction, he glances over at the other student's paper and sees something that makes his eyebrow go up.

"Oh, yeah?" says the second student. "Then how come your paper says '36'?

"Oh, well, I got bored with it being 27, so I thought I'd see what 36 felt like. But that doesn't mean it isn't 27!" he protests.

"How do I know it's really 27? You say you know the answers to this stuff, but you don't even put what you say is right on your own homework!"

"Dude, just trust me. I know this stuff....it's 27!"

"Yeah, that's what you say. I'll stick with 14..." and so goes the class experience.

Now, isn't that ridiculous! If you know that the answer to 9 x 3 is 27, why in the world would you put 36 and expect to get it right? And why would you expect someone to believe you when you say it's 27...they saw you put 36...

So, why would people believe us when we say Jesus is the answer if we live like more money, better figures/health, better jobs, prettier wives/more handsome husbands, bigger houses, faster lifestyles, etc...is the answer? We have to live what we believe, or who is going to want to believe it?

Something to think about...

Be blessed, and be a blessing!
Deena

Unusual, but necessary...a book review for you to read...

Sometimes, you read a novel and you feel unsettled, disturbed by its message. Maybe even wish you had never opened the cover of the book. But, that's not always a bad thing.

Very few books are what I call "life-changers". I enjoy reading, and I do read a lot. I read a wide variety of fiction and non-fiction, 98% Christian.
But today I read, in one day, a novel that is actually my husband's. His reaction to it stirred me to want to read "Rescued", by John Bevere and Mark Andrew Olson; it also left me a little reluctant to tackle this novel.
My husband said reading it changed him in ways he still hasn't fully grasped.

Now, I know what he meant.

"Rescued" is the story of a pastor, Alan Rockaway, and members of his congregation, on a pleasure cruise inside a submarine designed for those once-in-a-lifetime underwater excursions. Through a set of life altering circumstances, tragedy occurs. The sub is sunk and trapped, and people are suddenly struggling to survive.

Up above, on the pier, is the pastor's teenaged son, Jeff. He has video taped the entire incident, and now waits, powerless to help in a mind-boggling event.

The story itself is compelling. The writing is crisp, with flashbacks and a few other interruptions that do take a little while to get used to.
But the message catches you off guard, sucks the breath from your lungs, and makes you rethink everything you've ever believed about God, eternity, and what it means to serve such a Holy Being.

I challenge you to get "Rescued". It will be the most important thing you do in this new year. It will rock your world, I guarantee it. Like I stated earlier, that's not always such a bad thing.

Still processing...........

Deena

Question #2 for Week #2--January 14-20, 2007

5. What does James 2:10 say about our inability to achieve self-induced holiness?


For me, this tells me that no matter how hard I try to "get it all together", even one crooked hem-line, one sagging pantyhose knee, or one broken promise unravels it again. It is impossible to keep all of God's law--which is way more than just the 10 commandments. Each and every day I either disappoint someone, break my word, lack follow-thru on a goal or task, get upset unjustly...the list is endless.
Thank God it isn't up to me; it's all up to Him.

So, having said that, the follow-up question is "Then why in the world do we act like we have to have it all together all the time?

Getting things moving again...

Ok, I know it takes time for us to get used to new things. So I thought I'd generate a little dialogue here. If you're having trouble posting, give me a call. If you don't have my number, then email me at thedeena63@hotmail.com , and I'll try to help.

Why did I pick this book? The reason is in the opening chapter: "I've always dreamed of being much more than I am. More organized, more disciplined, more loving...much more 'much more', if you know what I mean!"
And then she goes on to list some of her goals and self-improvements she desires, ending up with, "I really do want to be different. I want to be changed."

Don't we all feel that way at one point sometimes? Don't you want to be changed in some way? I know I do. I felt like she had read my journal!! (If you don't keep a journal, let me encourage you now to begin one...it's great therapy...and it's cheap!)

Joanne also says, "As the saying goes, 'There's a skinny woman inside me just struggling to get out...I can usually sedate her with four or five cupcakes!'"

My question is this: Who is inside you struggling to get out? And what usually sedates her?

For me, an organized and well-disciplined homemaker is inside, but I can usually sedate her with a good book and take-out...

What is it for you??

(Feel free to post any comments you have on the opening chapter as well--you don't have to just answer my questions)

Question 1, Week 1, January 7-13, 2007

Question one from our study guide, week one, based on chapters one and two: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My answer: I would change my outlook. I tend to be pessimistic, an Eeyore/Rabbit kind of person. I would much rather be a Pooh/Piglet/Owl combo kind of gal. See the brighter side of life instead of the clouds that loom overhead. In order to change that, I have to build up my trust muscle. I KNOW God is in control, but I don't always act on what I know. So, if I could change it (which I suppose I can...but we won't go into that right now:-), I would be more optimistic and cheerful.

Ground Rules!!

Ok, our new study began today! Here are the ground rules for the blog posting ('cause we always have to have RULES, right, ladies:-)
1. Anything goes. Be honest. Don't worry about how it sounds, how it's spelled, and all of that kind of stuff. Just post from your heart--that's all we ask.
2. You don't have to post. Just come by and read, if you're more comfortable with that. We'd love to hear from you, but we understand.
3. You don't have to have a blog account. You can post as Anonymous, just be sure to TYPE YOUR NAME at the end of your post so we know who you are:-)
4. The question will be posted by Monday afternoon, but you can pop by anytime and chat with me. Ask me a question, leave a comment, leave a prayer request...anything you'd like. We can go off topic if it is needed.
5. Share our blog with anyone you'd like. They can read the book along with us, or they can just participate through our weekly questions. Let me know when you've shared so I can pray for your friends and loved ones.
6. Stick with it! If it's confusing, we'll help each other out. This is all new to all of us, but it's a great way to keep in touch through the week, and it spreads the word about our wonderful God and what He does in our lives.

That's all for now...so let's get busy and have some fun!!!

Love you!
Deena

New Year, New Purpose

As you can read, originally this was designed for on-line book reviews. Oh, the best laid plans:-) But now, I've decided to make this a haven for my Bible study buddies. At Loma Rica Baptist Church in Marysville, California, we have a women's fellowship called "Wholly Devoted". We meet once a month for Bible study and fellowship, and once a month for lunch.
For the new year we are beginning a study of "Having A Mary Spirit" by Joanna Weaver. Each week I'll post a question from our study, and ask members of our fellowship to post their answers on-line.
You're invited to participate as well! Go to your local Christian bookstore and order or pick up a copy of our book, "Having A Mary Spirit" by Joanna Weaver, ISBN 1400072476, and download the study at http://www.randomhouse.com/waterbrook/Havingamaryspirit/ to join in! Once a week, come by my blog and post your comments to the week's question, or a comment about something you've gotten out of the study, or how God's blessed you, or a prayer request...the sky's the limit here.
We'll keep in touch with you via email if you'd like, or simply through this blog. So join us...it will be fun, build fellowship, and who knows how God will use this for His glory. Thanks for stopping by!
Be blessed, and be a blessing,
Deena

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