Question of the Week, March 17-23, 2007

What does the Bible say about a controlling spirit in I Peter 4:15?

"But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people’s matters."

Hmmm...A busybody in other people's matters...well, I DO know this...I suffer when I try to meddle or control someone else's life.

For instance, my husband is a pastor. He is a very good, capable and compassionate pastor. But he also works a second full-time job as a county employee, and he is often balancing both his calling and his occupation...and sometimes things slip through the cracks...so I've taken to "reminding" him of what he should do. In essence, helping him pastor.

But I'm NOT the pastor, so the added stress I take on in thinking I have to help him wears me down, making me less effective in what God has called ME to do. And it doesn't help him be a better pastor...it frustrates him, and sometimes it even discourages him. Which again causes me to suffer, because then he cannot be effective in what God has called HIM to do.

My children have issues in their lives: my son has two older sisters who constantly try to (s)mother him; my oldest has strayed from the Lord and struggles to find her way back; and my middle daughter has a learning disability and wrestles with self-acceptance and believing in herself.

So, guess what I do?? I dive in headfirst, trying to smooth out the bumps and lumps of life for each of them, dispensing motherly wisdom liberally, and making decisions that are far better than any they can make themselves, because, after all, I'm older, wiser, and more experienced.

I get so busy living their lives...I forget I have one of my own to live, with my own decisions to make, my own choices to evaluate in light of God's word, and my own purposes He has laid out for me. I'm too exhausted to do it all anyway...living four lives at one time wears me out!

And I'm suffering for it.

Don't misunderstand me. We must be moms, and we must be wives...but sometimes we cross the invisible line between training and helping into doing and being...and it is tricky to balance ourselves if we don't learn to heed His spirit and watch for what He does.

So, what does I Peter have to say about a controlling spirit? In a nutshell...
"Choose it, and you'll lose it!"

Be blessed, and be a blessing for those who desperately need a touch from Him,

Deena