Last night, by phone, a dear sister in Christ did just that. She asked how I was doing, and I answered with my standard, "Oh, just fine..."
She replied, "Now, Deena, I've read your blog...so come on...tell me the truth..." or something very close to that...I do know it involved my blog...
So, I admit it...I'm still struggling...with some physical pain and some emotional pain. Satan has been diggin' up bones in my life, and I'm dealing with approval issues and abandonment issues I thought I had nailed to the cross.
But, I'm doing better than I would have a year ago...I'm stronger now, and able to talk about it now instead of hiding it in shame. And I would appreciate your prayers.
So, dear sister, THANK YOU for "looking me in the eye and saying 'Tell the truth'"...
Be blessed, and don't settle for a quick "I'm fine" from the people you care about...really stop and do an "eye check"...
Deena
3 comments:
Think about a baby who has been so used to the way it has always been. then God decides it is time for that baby to be set free and get used to life in a new way. So the struggle begins. Sometimes it last a long time and sometimes it is quick. I am sure when the pressure of a contraction ends the baby thinks, Finally it is over. But the long it is there the more uncomfortable it gets. It does not belong there and God is not going to let it stay there. so the contractions begin again and finally the light of day. The baby still does not want to be where it is. The light is bright and it is cold. But the doctors clean it all up and lay it on the chest of its mom so that it can be calmed by her voice and the beat of her heart.
We are all in different stages of the birthing process. Each time God decides it is time to set us free--we go back to the birthing process. Now you can choose to tell God He "don't know nuthin bout birthin no babies" or you can take a deep breath and that God that there are some birthing pains going on. It means you are about to enter an area of life that is new to you.
It means you 9 months in the womb are over. God says you are done and He wants to get you out and continue the process of growing you up. I love the quote from a movie I watched. Nothing in life that adds to the person you are is a waste of time.
Are you a different person because of what you have been through? could yo now look at someone else and say by the grace of God I made it through--you can to. An antique is valuable because it went through all those people and it survived! Did you survive? Then you are valuable in the Kingdom of God. Look at yourself in the mirror and you tell that girl she is an important part of the army of God. He needs her. And more than that if He did not think with His help she could make it through what she had been through He would not have allowed it to happen. You now have the credentials that make you a powerful general in the army of the Lord. Do not let satan steal your identity. God made you--God held you--God has not let you go!
Admit your weakness and then GLORY in it. You are who you are and you had better pick your head up--be proud of the woman God is making. You are a work in progress--and He does not make mistakes. You are somebody in the kingdom of God. Forgetting what lies behind we press on. Like walking against the wind or the waves coming at us. PRESS ON!
LOVE YA GIRL!
Father, continue to strengthen Deena as she looks to you for healing of her physical pain and emotional pain. I thank you that even though she may be hard pressed, she's not crushed, perplexed, she's not in despair, persecuted, she's not abandoned, struck down, she's not destroyed, help her trade her sorrow & pain in for the joy of the Lord and cry out Yes Lord, Yes Lord!
I also went through a period of digging up bones...What is so freeing is when you can know God has touched them and you can finally have a proper funeral...I pray that for you my friend...
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